Vain

53. Content Bitterness

Her full brown hair trailed down her back, and with a brief glance at her vanity mirror. Cielo bit the velvet scrunchie on her wrist, dragging it to her hand and using it to tie much of her hair into a ponytail. Which only left a few rebellious baby hair left sticking out at odd places. A defeated expression weighs on her face, but there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't have the luxury of mindlessly spending her time doing her hair. She was running late and Edmund would have an earful for her when she'd finally catch up to him. Grabbing her blazer from her bed, she quickly rushed out of her dorm room, wearing it on her way down the stairs.

A loud and melodic bell rang and she sped up even more so than she was before. A trot became a dash, and before long she was sprinting. Which was a frown upon and undignified that a lady should never commit. Though Cielo wasn't worried about what others thought of her or what words her mother would reprimand her with. She was really truly late now, class had already begun and no worries could surpass her anxious mind. As such, there was only a constant chant that kept her going.

'Late, late, late. You're late! Dummy! Why did you have to sleep in! It's the first day of school.'

It had become a lullaby by now, but it brought no comfort to her nor did it lulled her to peacefulness. It only made her more anxious and continue to wish that her legs were longer or that she could run faster. It was a sort of anti-lullaby. But it froze the minute she opened the dormitory building's doors and was met with disapproving red eyes.

Cielo paused in her steps and shrunk back a bit as if expecting some sort of lecture. But she was momentarily caught off guard when Edmund merely grabbed her hand and pulled her along with hurried steps. There was only a brief moment between when he had turned around and started walking and when he had held onto her. But she was able to catch a glimpse of a smile on his face. A smile full of hopelessness, but also happiness. And a radiant smile filled her delighted face.

❅

In her cold room within the castle, Ruby couldn't help but be bored, there was nothing for her to do. With her brother and basically everyone, she knew gone, off to some academy. She was truly bored and restless, aside from escaping her lessons, there wasn't anything remotely active that she was doing. And even when she had escaped her lessons, she was still stuck with only herself as company.

Then again, this wasn't exactly a new thing for her. These past few years Aileene and Xi were quite distant with her. She could understand her first friend's circumstances and the sudden tragedy that had befallen her. But what was going on with Xi, it seemed as though she was just avoiding her. Ruby couldn't understand what happened to all their years of friendship, Aileene had shut herself off from the world for the past year and Xi brought up unfeasible excuses to leave her alone. This all happened till the moment the two of them had to pack up to leave for the academy, she only got a chance to say a short goodbye. Before never being able to see them again (well, at least not until they return for vacation or she starts going to the academy two years from now).

And so to her comfort herself these days, Ruby would simply lay in her bed, hugging her pillows, rolling about, and hoping it would somehow bring her happiness. It didn't. (Surprise, surprise.) So her next best option was to ruminate about the good ol' time that they had spent together.

Ruby, Aileene, and Xi had always been good friends. They had grown up together and explored the world together. And she couldn't remember from where it all began, but no one was really sure anyways. There was no definite answer, and through fate or coincidence they had been able to meet and connect, everything clicked. Each of them had their own role, well they weren't exactly roles, but rather they were just how each person acted. Aileene was the mature one, clear-headed and perceptive. Xi was the shrewd one, sly and dubious. And she was the beautiful one, a little bit stubborn but still wonderful.

Aaa, how she missed their time together? Would they ever become as close as they were in the past? She wasn't sure, but she hoped so. Even though Ruby felt a bit abandoned by her friends, she knew it wasn't completely their fault and she didn't want to blame them. She just wanted everyone to be as carefree as they were back then.

Since everything felt different now, everyone was always so distant, so busy, so tense. Her parents no longer talked to her as much as they had before, every time she would see them, they would be stiff and unapproachable. Her family also rarely ate dinner together anymore, when before they would spend their meal together happily, sharing their time and their day. Now she was locked in her room, left to her own devices. Even her older brother no longer doted on her as much, or at all like before.

The castle was always cold, dreary and so so very lonely.

❅

Cielo knew she was not alone and she had been proven so, so often in her life. Whenever she'd see Edmund, wait for her so patiently, care for her so warmly. She would be content and satisfied, there seemed to be nothing more she wanted in life than to languish in this happiness. Maybe it was the Academy, or maybe it was her own fears, but day by day as time went on. She was confronted with what she feared most.

A decision-less existence, where she would be controlled by another. Where her will would be turned against her, where she would be trapped in the confines of her own body. Continuously living an unhappy existence, her nightmares would repeat itself, in an endless cycle. And even as she tried to ignore it and regain her steadiness, the uncomfortable feeling of wrongness couldn't escape her.

Cielo cried, she cried for herself, she cried for Edmund, she cried for anyone that would see her so pitiful. Her arms wrapped around herself, and she sunk onto her bed. She didn't want to pretend that nothing was wrong, she wanted to know her future. Was this her only path? Because no matter how hard she had tried, no matter what she told herself. She knew that today was her last, the start of the academy year would be the end of her.

So she continued to cry silently, tears rolled down her cheek, deafening the resolved that made her who she was.