c r a c k (BNHA chat fic) |Under New Ownership|

PICK A GOD AND PRAY TO IT

🐰: I got me some of that good Gucci depression™ 😎

⚡: b r o I only got Louis Vuitton depression™ my dude.

👽: I couldn't afford Apple depression™ bc each symptom was $999 and I don't have that kind of money

🐰: oof can we get a f in the chat my broskis

🐰: f

⚡: f

📼: f

⭐: f

🦇: f

🐸: f

📚: Hey, sorry to ruin... the f chain I guess, but what is everyone's birthday? I need to know.

🐰: oof it's fine

🐰: July 15

⚡: June 29

👽: July 30

⭐: December 27

📼: July 28

🦇: October 30

🐸: February 12

🐰: Kacchan's is April 20, Iida's is August 22, Todoroki's is January 11, Aoyama's is May 30, and idk if you want it, but Shinso's is July 1st

⚡: Jirou's is August 1st, and Kiri's is October 16

🦇: Shoji's is February 15

🐸: Koda's is February 1st, kero

🐰: Oh! Sato's is June 19 and Ojiro's is May 28!

👽: Oh! Hagakure said her birthday was June 16th

📚: Thank you all! :)

👽: What's urs Mama Momo

📚: September 23! :)

⚡: WAIT ARE WE IGNORING THE FACT THAT BAKUBRO'S BIRTHDAY IS ON 4/20

🐰: kacchan got weed on his 14th birthday from a 'mysterious doner'

⚡: HOLY FUCK IZU DO YOU KNOW A DRUG DEALER

🐰: for legal reasons i have to say no

⚡: HOOLLLLYYYY FUUUCKKKKK IZUKU CAN GET US HIGH

🐰: no

⚡: why?

🐰: l e g a l r e a s o n s

⚡: did the dealer get caught?

⚡: ARE YOU A DEALER

🐰: fOR LEGAL REASONS I HAVE TO SAY NO

⚡: HOLY SHIT IZUKU CAN GET US THE GOOD STUFF

🐰: I can't tho

⚡: whhhyyyyy

🐰: legal reasons

M e m e i n g b o l t

🐰: Ok so I MAY have attempted suicide via drugs

⚡: what the ever loving fuck izu

🐰: ok ok so I became a drug dealer as this elaborate as FUCK plan to kill myself, so I used my allowance to buy a shit ton of drugs and sell them and eventually I had enough money to order an amount of cocaine that would most definitely kill me, so when I got it I fucking downed it all but I made the mistake of doing it when mom was home and she called the ambulance and I had to go to a mental hospital for a month and they couldn't arrest me because I was literally labeled 'too mentally unstable'

⚡: what

⚡: the

⚡: FUCK

⚡: Izuku

🐰: yeah I was fucking stupid

🐰: don't try to kill yourself via something that could be fixed by calling an ambulance

🐰: and DEFINITELY do NOT do it when someone is near by and could notify an ambulance.

⚡: I DON'T THINK THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THIS SITUATION

⚡: maybe we SHOULD add Iida back

🐰: FUCK NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

🐰: DO.
🐰: NOT.

Class 1-A

⚡ has added 👓 to the chat

👓: Ah finally, thank you Kaminari!

🐰: Hey Iida!

🐰 has turned off back reading

👓: What was that for Midoriya?

🐰: Nothing you need to worry about. :)

👓: I'm confused?

🐰: Don't be, everything is fine.

👓: Should I be worried?

⚡: YES

🐰: NO

⭐: NO

Tokoyami

⚡ has sent a screenshot

🦇: Oh.

Class 1-A

🦇: Yes. Most likely.

🐰: Oh. I see how it is. Maybe I should just tell him then?

🦇: I don't know if... that's best. Unless you meant the... other thing.

🐰: OH GOOD HEAVENS NO HE WILL NEVER KNOW ABOUT THAT.

🐰: AND DENKI KAMINARI I SWEAR ON MY FUCKING SOUL IF YOU EVER TELL ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU I WILL COME THE FUCK OVER THERE AND FUCKING CHOP OFF YOUR FINGERS AND SLICE YOUR FUCKING VOCAL CHORDS.

👓: Midoriya...?

🐰: HANG ON IIDA I'M NOT IN THE FUCKING MINDSET TO TALK TO YOU

🐰: AND TOKOYAMI LISTEN YOU ARE AMAZING AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU BUT IF YOU FUCKING TELL ANYONE THE THREAT STILL STAND FOR YOU EXCEPT FOR I MAY NUMB YOU FIRST

🦇: Thank you...?

🐰: YOUR FUCKING WELCOME

⚡: ooh i wasn't supposed to tell him about the drug thing?

🐰: YOU BETTER PICK A FUCKING GOD AND PRAY TO IT, LITTLE BITCH

🐰 has left the chat

⚡: well fuck

⚡: see y'all in hell.

🐾: OwO