PART 6, SECTION 9

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When I reached the road, I had no idea what time it was.

I'd been keeping my cell phone off, knowing that the Home Guard could track my GPS position, and I didn't want to risk turning it on even just to check the time.

I climbed up the gully to look for a hiding spot behind the cottonwood grove. This was next to impossible in the dark, but eventually I managed to feel out a flattish place between some boulders. I was well hidden, but if Jason decided to ambush me here with his squad, I'd be out of luck. The gully above was steep, and there was no place to run.

I waited.

Not a single car drove by. The night grew colder. I was still only wearing a t-shirt with mid-length sleeves, and I started to shiver. Soon, I was chilled to the bone. I curled up in a tiny ball between the rocks, trying to capture as much of my body heat as possible. But I couldn't stop shivering.

A sliver of a moon rose between the branches of the trees, offering practically no extra light.

By now, I had to accept that eleven o'clock must have come and gone. It was probably well past midnight, maybe two or three in the morning.

Jason wasn't coming.

Maybe he'd figured out I was setting him up. Or maybe the Home Guard was tracking the fugitives from the granary, and he couldn't get away. But one way or another, it was clear now that he wasn't going to meet me tonight.

I tried to sleep. But I was miserable. Until now, I'd focused all of my concentration on the prospect of stealing Jason's access card. But now that he hadn't shown up, my thoughts had nowhere to go and nothing to do but fall into a downward spiral of loneliness and regret. I don't think I'd ever felt more hopeless than I did that night, shivering in the brush, or more alone.

When dawn finally arose and I saw the girl approaching on the highway, I felt a moment of manic elation just at the chance to be in contact with another human being.

But when I stepped onto the road and couldn't break her from her innocently vacant stare, it was all I could do not to throw a rock at her back and scream, Talk to me!  

Even after the girl was out of sight, I couldn't stop thinking about her empty green eyes and her gruesomely broken foot, trailing that chain.

And it was only then that I let myself really think about Morgan. I mean, that's when I let myself really think about the fact that she'd been sick, just like this girl. It's when I let myself acknowledge that she was really gone, and what I'd done to her. I thought about the last calm moment I'd shared with her in the silo. I wished that I could have had just a few more minutes with her then, even if it was just to sit there beside her while she slept among her filth and discarded wrappers.

And that's when I remembered the note in my pocket.

I tried to pull myself together. I dried my tears with my sleeve. I took out the note, unfolded it, and read it again: refuse Morgan.

Was Chris trying to leave a message which he hoped I would understand, but which would be meaningless to any Home Guard ranger who found it? Maybe there was something there. Maybe Chris had left something else he wanted me to find. It was a long shot, but it was possible.

I had to get back to the granary. . .



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