Chapter 30

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CHAPTER 30

Erin let herself into Ethan's apartment, heart beating a wild rhythm in her chest. She leaned against the door, knuckles gripping the knob as though unwilling to take the necessary steps into the room, worry and dread turning her skin cold. She took a deep breath forcing much needed air into her lungs, tight with anxiety as she silently tried to reassure herself with Kim's words.

She could hear the low murmur of voices coming from the balcony and Erin muttered another prayer as she forced her steps in that direction. Ethan and Marcus occupied the two wrought chairs, both men slumped against the furniture in a drunken sprawl with Ethan facing away from the door, nursing half filled glasses filled with what Erin knew would surely be alcohol. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sat atop the table and her heart sank. Dealing with a sober Ethan was hard in itself, but when he was intoxicated...heaven only knew what his reaction would be.

Marcus noticed her first and straightened, acknowledging her presence with a discreet nod. He made a show of checking his watch and leaned forward to set down his drink. "Dude...I gotta get back to the office, someone needs to handle the fallout from the failed conference."

Ethan merely shrugged and took a gulp of his own drink, draining the contents in one swallow. Marcus gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and walked past her, giving Erin a long searching look that told her he probably knew about what had transpired between them.

She swallowed, her gaze darting back to Ethan, her heart breaking at the dejected slump of his shoulders as he gazed fixedly at the view outside, still oblivious to her presence. She'd done this to him...had hurt him by her thoughtless actions...her lack of trust in him. Refusing to give in to the self pity that threatened to overwhelm her in a cloak of pure misery, Erin stepped closer and perched on the edge of the seat Marcus had just vacated.

"Hey," She murmured. His head whipped around to stare at her, his gaze slightly unfocused from the amount of drinks he'd consumed. "I went to your office, but they said you'd already gone home."

Seconds passed as Ethan simply stared at her, his expression cold and unwelcoming and Erin nearly wept at how different he looked from just a few hours ago. This morning, there'd been love, warmth and desire in his eyes, but now, those bright blue orbs were simply an empty shell.

Erin shivered and wrapped her arms around her body, despite the warm breeze of the late summer.

The silence stretched between them, intense with a cacophony of emotions....regret, shame, pain...each emotion stealthily creating a gulf between them and Erin knew she had to do something or lose everything.

"Ethan....I'm so sorry," She freed her hands and reached for his, resting on his thighs. To her relief, he didn't push her away, and she gripped his large, warm hands in her own. "Please....I know I made a mess but I swear...."

"Save your apology for someone who deserves it." Ethan cut in, freeing his hand from her grasp, as his gaze flickered with a maelstrom of suppressed emotions. He stood, easily towering over her as he leaned close, so close she could smell the alcohol on his breath, his mouth pulled in a cynical smile. "Can't have the pampered little princess waste an apology on a worthless bastard now, you could catch something filthy."

Erin flinched at the dig. "That's not fair Ethan. My mother's opinion doesn't count as mine."

He smirked. "Life's not fair, Sweetcheeks. Fair's for idiots who believe in happily ever after...the poor fuckwits who actually get fooled into thinking, that a spoiled brat who's never known what it means to live in terror every single fucking day of their childhood, could actually deign to love a bastard from the streets. You know who would be perfect for you? That little shit....Tom....Ted....Todd? Fuck his name, just fucking go and play the perfect little heiress and get the hell out of my apartment!"

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