Push

Chapter 26

Cameron Santiago POV

I've been talking to a professional for about two weeks now. Life has made a complete 180. I decided that I wanted help and didn't want anyone else suffering from my mental health issues. It's not fair when I can get help and people offering to help. Not everyone has that support system. My therapist's name is Lauren Scott. She's pretty cool and patient. The first few days were rough but eventually the bumps in the road were lessened. Today's the day she wants me to talk about my family's and I'm not sure I can. I've buried it so deep within me.

"What happened that day?" Dr. Scott asked. I stay silent. "Things aren't going to get better without you confronting that day."

"It was a normal day." Here I go. "Went to school, went to soccer practice and headed home." I pause as I'm drawn back to that day.

"It's okay. Take a deep breath and continue when you are ready." Dr. Scott says.

"It all happened so fast. I went upstairs to grab my new cleats that I had just gotten shipped to the house. I heard the doorbell ring and yelling. I saw two masked people put my parents and siblings on their knees while pointing a gun at them. One of the men started touching my mom and sister inappropriately. I dialed 911 and explained the situation. The people started asking my dad where the money was, saying he owed them and never paid up. To this day, I don't know why my dad owed them. Things started to get worse. They started undressing my sister. My brother tried to stop them, but they just put a bullet in his head. My mom wouldn't stop crying and screaming, so they shot her next. One of the men started to make his way out of the room and I decided to hide in my closet. It had a secret compartment only my family knew about. I squeezed in there and just hid. I heard his footsteps enter the room. I heard him open my closet. I held my breath. That's when I heard sirens. He ran downstairs and there was more screaming and gunshots. I heard the police enter and start to clear the rooms. I walked out and they saw me. They led me outside but that meant seeing the results of what happened. All I see are my family's dead bodies with gunshots in them. The men were arrested. I was taken to a foster home not even two hours after the incident. When things couldn't get worse, the foster homes proved it could." Recalling the events feels like an out of body experience.

"Am I the first one you ever told?" She asked. I nod. "How does it feel to say everything out loud?"

"Like an out of body experience. I can't believe I really said it out loud." I say in shock.

"I think I am going to talk with Ali and Ash when they pick you up today. Is that okay with you?" She wants to talk to them?

"Why?"

"You are finally releasing what you have been holding back for years. A lot of emotions will be coming up because of this and I want them to be prepared. I won't tell them anything about what you told me, but they just need to be aware that things that were once repressed are going to come up."

"Okay." I say trusting her. She's the expert right.

I text Ali and Ash telling them the therapist wants to talk to them about me. They showed up and Dr. Scott told them what she told me.

"She's still in shock and processing what happened years after it happened. Just be there for her. Things may get worse before it gets better. The nightmares may get bad these few days. You may have panic attack-"

"A panic attack, but I've never had one to this day." I question her comment.

"I said may have, but you have PTSD, Cameron. You are just beginning to deal with it. There are many unknowns that could happen."

"Got it." I say giving a weak thumbs up.

"Any questions for me?" The doc asks.

"Can I go?" I just want to leave. I've had enough.

"Yes, but please don't hesitate to call me, any of you if you need anything." She says and shakes Ali and Ash's hands as I make my way to the door.

"How about we grab some food before heading back to the hotel?" Ali suggests. I think she knows I'm anxious and wants to distract me.

"Yea, there's a ramen place right across from the hotel." Ash says knowing it's one of my favorite foods to have.

We end up eating and heading back to change for practice. I was finally cleared to fully practice with the team, but I can't play just yet. I do physical therapy three times a week and it's been well. I still have pain and soreness from my injury but Advil and Tylenol usually help it.

Today is the last practice before the England game that is set for three days from now. I believe it will be a tough game, but we will play with all we got.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ashlyn Harris POV

The therapist was right when she said the nightmares will get worse which I didn't know was possible. It was a little past midnight, Ali and I were just watching some TV when first heard Cam whimper. She started to talk to herself. Me and Ali refocused on the TV knowing this is "normal" for Cameron. It was when she began tossing and turning when things started to take a turn. I could see the sweat beads forming on her face as the light from the TV reflected off her. We let her be a few more minutes hoping she wakes up on her own, but she doesn't. A loud piercing scream comes from her mouth. Not just once but over and over again. At this time Ali and I turn on the lights and make our way over to her trying to wake her up. As soon as Ali strokes her hair she flinches and screams again. Then there was banging on our door. I went to answer it hoping Ali has some luck in the meantime. Kelley and Pinoe are standing at the door with scared expressions.

"We heard screaming coming from your room." Pinoe stated. That's when Cameron screamed again.

"She's having a flashback in the form of a nightmare." I explain.

"Is there anything we can do?" Kelley asks. I shake my head as I look over to Cam still tossing and turning.

"Just head back to bed. Thanks for checking in on us though." We say our goodnights and I head back over to Cameron and Ali.

"I don't know what to do." Ali tears up. I feel that. Being helpless watching Cam suffer breaks our hearts.

We sit there just trying to get Cam to wake up with no avail. About ten minutes pass and Cam finally wakes up. She sits up in bed and begins hyperventilating.

"They were murdered." Cam says as she rocks herself and repeats the phrase over and over. "They were murdered."

Ali wraps around her so Cam's back is on her chest while she sits against the headboard. Ali starts whispering sweet nothings in her ear hoping to calm her down. Eventually she does calm down into some sort of trance.

"My parents were murdered. My siblings were murdered." She whispers. She silently breaks down in tears in Ali's arms.

"It's okay just relax and take some deep breaths. You're not there anymore. You have me and Ali with you. It's okay." I say holding her hands. "Close your eyes and focus on breathing. Think of a happy place." With that she listens and soon me and Ali hear her breathing even out.