When the Camellia blooms

Camellia Blooms - THIRTY

Deja Vu

Everything in my life is now familiar to me.

Like a dream I dreamt of, the different scenarios in my head playing like movie scenes are in fact, my life.

It feels so familiar yet at the same time, it gives me questions to ask about myself.

About my life.

Is this how I think it's supposed to go down?

Is this how I fell?

Is this how I fail?

...

"Alice, seriously, you need to put a pedal on your imagination. I don't have a thing for Yuu, he's like my brother and especially not for Ru Wu Jie, he's-"

"What about me?"

I was stupefied hearing his voice behind me, and then I looked on my back and there he was standing in his full glory.

Heat travelled up to my cheeks and I want to slap myself for blushing at this guy.

"Why are you here?" I retorted with a question.

"Can't I come here?" He answered back with a question too.

I glared at him and was about to close the door on his face when I see Yuu behind his back.

"Yuu"

"Oh, you're mom let me through, I was about to ask if we could study together" he said with an uncomfortable tone.

That's right, we always study together, but now, I've brought someone else. I feel myself being flooded with guilt and I almost want to stop my plan on avoiding him but I steel myself.

I don't want him to be hurt in the end.

"Oh, uhm- actually Alice and I will discuss about our uh-project together"

"What about ours?" Ru Wu Jie interjected as I threw him a glare.

I pushed my door open for them to come in, my mother must have known that I brought people in and decided to bring some snacks to us.

"Really Auntie Xu, your rice cakes are the best, I thought I was eating in a Michelin restaurant"

Ru Wu Jie continued to praise my mother with flowery words and I couldn't help but to kick him under the table but instead, kicked Alice. I could only mutter a low sorry to her as she glared at me.

"Ma, I think it's okay for us now, thank you for the food"

Now that mom left, I think we need to study now, after all that's why they gathered here.

...

Alice left first as I wave at her dissappearing figure. With Yuu on my left and Ru Wu Jie on my right, I felt like I was in an idol drama.

"Hey, the two of you are so close, are you cousins?" Ru Wu Jie sudde suddenly asked.

"We're childhood friends" I uttered as Yuu stopped for a while and then continued to walk as if he never heard my words.

"Oh?"

I swiftly landed a punch on Ru Wu Jie's stomach and run to Yuu. This guy is causing so much trouble for me.

"Yuu, sorry if I forgot our study session" my voice laced in guilt.

"It's fine, I remember, so it's fine"

My heart hurt at his words, I knew that he already looks at me in a different way. He treats me so gently now, he definitely has feelings for me.

But I can't.

Yuu has no future with me.

The one that hurts the most is the person who remembers, not the one who forgot.

***
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