The Everyday Adventures of Sam and Megan (GirlxGirl)

Season 3: Episode 17

| November 17 | Saturday Afternoon |

~ Sam's POV ~

If I had to describe the heaviness I felt, I would compare it to being trapped under the weight of a collapsed house in the middle of a storm. The weight was so heavy on my chest that it was impossible to scream for help. I felt trapped. I felt terrified. I felt like I was losing with every second that passed. I didn't know what to do anymore. Was there anything I could do? One thing was for sure, I had to try and keep it together, at least today. For Shawn and Casey.

I released a deep sigh as I straightened my skinny tie in a nervous attempt to feel put-together. Luckily, since the wedding parties for our bride and groom weren't excessive, I had half the dressing room to myself. As I stood in front of the three-way mirror, I attempted to stay out of my head, but it was difficult. I had expected my parents' presence to put me on edge, but that, on top of everything else, made me feel like I was walking a tightrope.

"Oh, screw you!" I heard in the distance. "I've known Shawn and Sam longer than you. Now get out of my way!"

I watched Blair shove her way past a groomsman in the mirror and stalk over to me. Suddenly, some of the ice in my veins melted. I turned towards her.

"Glad you could make it–"

My sentence was cut short as she crashed into me. Her arms wrapped around me and hugged tight. It took me a second to reciprocate because it was taking all I had not to cry. Eventually, I gathered myself and returned her gesture.

"Dude, I've missed you so much," she said into my neck.

I pressed my cheek against the side of her head to hide my face. "I've missed you too."

We pulled back and looked at each other. I knew she would see the difference in me immediately. Blair knew me better than anyone, and when she studied me, the look on her face proved my assumption true. She furrowed her brow in confusion.

"What's wrong?" she wondered. "You know this isn't your wedding, right? You can't get cold feet."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I know that Blair. There's nothing wrong."

"So, you're gonna lie?" she asked. "That's what you're choosing to do?"

I should've known better. Blair could smell bullshit. Especially my bullshit. There was no use in trying to lie to her. Yet, if I told her what the past few months had entailed for Megan and me, I could only imagine her reaction. She would probably freak out and cause a scene, forcing Shawn to come over here and start asking questions. I didn't know what to do.

"Come with me smoke," I said.

"You're smoking again?" Blair scoffed. "What the fuck-"

"Just come on." I pulled her out of the room. "And stop cursing, you're in a church."

"You're the one to lecture me about cursing."

We made it through the church and escaped out the back entrance. Downtown Tampa traffic made just enough noise to mask our escape as I pulled out my pack of smokes and lighter.

"Want one?" I offered.

"You know better." Blair folded her arms in annoyance. "Now, tell me what's going on."

I took a drag and tried to think of where to start. I really didn't know. Where had everything started to spiral?

"I started therapy." I took a pause. "And it's pretty much done exactly what I knew it would, which is resurface all my trauma. I found out Megan was looking into the fostering process without me. The nightmares came back. I can feel myself going numb like I'm seventeen again. I'm drinking and smoking. Me and Megan fought a few weeks ago after she had dinner with a colleague without telling me, which isn't even a big deal other than the fact that I know this dude would screw her if he had the chance. But I can't even blame her for confiding in him because I won't let her confide in me..."