Infinity||H.S.

Moving On From Here

"Ooh, I've been wandering 'round
But I still come back to you
In rain or shine
You've stood by me girl
I'm happy at home"

Noelle

If a year ago someone asked me if I would ever have imagined myself in the position I am in now, the answer would have been no. I would never have imagined to be sitting by the river Dane with Harry, talking about his ex.

And yet, here I am.

I had a nightmare once, in which Camille long-legs Rowe chased me with a copy of The Sun in one hand, gloating because Harry chose her and not me.

Funny how a dream can make you feel so insecure about yourself.

I mean, I'm not blind, it was obvious he'd choose her.

Hell, I'd choose her myself

If we were to talk about physical presence, Camille beat me 100 to 0. Tall, skinny as a stick, slim thighs, and so beautiful it hurts.

Not for nothing, she is a Victoria's Secret angel.

And we all know that Harry seems to have a certain preference for that genre.

I'm just... Well, I'm the average girl next door who, as a lingerie idea, has granny panties, possibly with some weird print on them.

I think I can count on my fingers the times I've worn something made of lace or silk.

And don't let begin with thongs.

"You really want to know?" Harry asks me again, keeping himself up on his elbows after lying on the grass

No, not really. But I can't seem to keep my mouth shut.

"Not really, but we must start from somewhere" I reply truthfully.

I don't really know what I was thinking when I asked him about his last relationship and how they broke up. Words just slipped out of my mouth it wasn't like I could take them back.

Plus, a part of me is kind of curious.

And you know what they say about curiosity?

Harry side-glances at me, nodding a little " There's not much to tell... We were happy, and then she was not" he shrugs, "Things weren't good between us long before she broke up with me, I should have seen it coming. We argued a lot more near the end"

He runs a hand through his hair looking at the water "I thought we could work on our issues, once the tour was over. But it was too late. When she broke up with me I was heartbroken, for fuck's sake, I was so hurt for a long time. I thought we were good for each other, I brought her over for Christmas, let her meet mom" he chuckles sadly " Funny thing is, when she ended things, she told me I didn't give her enough attention... Turns out she found them in another dude soon after. Some actor she was friendly with. I was right when I felt jealous of him. He was there for her when I wasn't".

He closes his eyes taking a deep breath "So yes, most of the album is about her, how I felt from the beginning to the end."

Hearing Harry talk about another woman with such intensity and hurt, gives me a bitter-sugar feeling.