XLVI

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~Saturday, May 14th~

I try not to speed, but it's hard not to. I follow my GPS to the hospital Noah's aunt told me to go to and park in a visitor's spot, then walk in the front doors right up to the reception desk.

"Hi, I'm here to visit a patient, Noah Thompson," I say to the young woman sitting behind a computer.

"Alright," she clicks a few buttons on the computer with her mouse before looking back up at me.

"Relation to the patient?"

"Umm, his girlfriend..." I say, already knowing what she will say to me next. I start to panic.

"I'm sorry Miss but only family is allowed to visit with that patient right now," she says before looking back down at her computer, probably signaling for me to leave.

"None of his family can come right now, his aunt asked me to come. She was his legal guardian until he turned eighteen," I begin to explain, hoping she'll see that I do deserve to visit him.

"I'm sorry, it's the hospital's policy. Until he reaches a more stable condition, only family is allowed to visit."

"I'm the only one that can be here though, his aunt has to watch his little sister," I begin frantically.

"Miss, I'm sorry-"

"Please, his dad is dead and his mom is the one who hurt him. He doesn't have any family left." I finally let my tears fall, but only a few. I hadn't wanted to mess up my makeup, so that I wouldn't look even more strange than I already do. But at this point I might as well let it happen. I've got nothing left to lose.

The receptionist pauses for a moment, looking me over, and then looking through something on her computer screen. Finally she sighs softly and looks back to me. "If we can get Anne Thompson on the phone for her verbal permission for you to see him, then I'll let you in." Relief washes over me at her words, but only more tears form in my eyes.

"Thank you so much," I say with a trembling lip as she picks up the phone, typing in Anne's number from her computer screen. I listen to her half of the conversation until she hangs up.

"Alright, please fill out this visitor's form," she says and hands me a clipboard with a piece of paper on it and a pen. I gladly fill it out, and quickly hand it back to her. "Sarah will walk you to the section of the hospital where Noah is staying in. You'll have to wait in a waiting room until one of his nurses is told that he has a visitor, then you should be able to go see him."

"Thank you, so so much," I say. A nurse named Sarah comes out from behind the front desk and walks me through multiple sets of doors, on an elevator, and then through another set of doors into another waiting room.

"I'll go let the nurses know that you're here," Sarah says, and I thank her. I sit down in a cushioned chair and start to mentally prepare myself for what I might see. No matter how bad or hurt he looks, I'll have to be strong - for him. My job is to comfort him, make him feel as brave as possible before the surgery. But it's really hard to convince someone else of something if you're not sure you're convinced of it yourself. No matter what though, I have to try my best not to cry in front of him. Knowing him, he'll start worrying about me when I'm supposed to be the one worrying about him. So I'll keep on a brave face.

Five minutes of nervously fidgeting in my chair later, a nurse walks out of one of the doors off of the waiting room.

"Teresina White?" She says and I stand. She walks towards me, meeting me at my chair before I can work up the courage to start walking. "I'm sorry, but Noah has already gone into surgery. You'll have to wait until he is done and begins recovery to visit him."

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