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Tick

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Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I played imaginary clock sounds to pass time by. Yes, I was THAT bored. In our position, one must always thank god that he/she was still alive, but no,we were sulking, at least Taehyung and I were. We weren't doing it out loud, but I still knew that he was doing it. Imagine how it must feel to lose a brother. Not only that, but Taehyung's last memory of Jimin was him being stuck under an electricity pole, his ribs being the victim of the crushing force of the pole as gravity took its role way too seriously. I couldn't worry about myself when I knew that Taehyung was in such a miserable state . I couldn't keep on talking, because deep down, I knew that Taehyung needed this time to talk to himself, to reassure himself, to think with himself, and most importantly, to blame himself.

Blaming yourself was not good, but it was to a certain extent. I have always believed that when you blame yourself for something, it encourages you to take the next step. I mean, I would never move forward if I knew that nothing was my fault, but at that moment, I felt as though it was partially mine. I was supposed to hold onto Jimin tightly. I was supposed to support him. Instead, I let a small shake in the ground toss me into the water and carry me away with it, leaving him all injured and alone. I even took the skittles with me. He would have been lucky if he had found something else to eat or someone else to hold onto him for support. Leaving him on his own was the one thing that troubled me and for that I blamed myself, and that was why my determination to wait for Jimin for as long as it took was so strong, because I knew that it was my fault too.

The sun was setting, its view making us all yawn at the same time. Chung Ae laid down on the tree trunk he was on and stared at the sky, while Taehyung and I stared at our own reflections on the surface of the still water which was already adorned by the bright colours of the sunset. The amounts of internal pain that I felt seemed to be surfacing on my reflection, making it seem as though my reflection was crying. That pain, concealed as tears trickling down the orange reflection of mine, tricked me into seeing an injured, fragile Jimin, making my heart ache even more. The thought of him dragging his body around weakly with frequent grunts escaping his mouth was all it took for me to feel in pain all over again.

Jimin. Where are you?

I felt some tears form at the edge of my eyes the more the image played in my head. The time I had spent with Jimin wasn't much, but I sure did miss him. His presence didn't fail to make me feel better when I was at my worst. The way he always managed to smile even when he was in so much pain gave me all the strength I could've ever asked for, so his absence did make me feel weak and vulnerable.

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