Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

38 - pills

I don't know what came over me.

Whether it was the memory of last night, of our bodies synced together, of his soft skin on mine.

Or maybe it was our dreadful parting, and seeing the tears in his eyes as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, kissed my temple and climbed into his car leaving me speechless by the lake.

But I didn't really get to say goodbye.

He drove off before I could even utter one simple word.

All i've been doing this entire month is avoiding our farewell, pushing him away and making sure I don't have to endure saying goodbye to him as he leaves me in this big scary city all alone.

But now that I woke up this morning, seeing the time and realizing he was well on his way to the airport. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let him leave without a word.

The cab driver is speeding, he's a nice man, he complied when I told him to hurry but he wasn't going fast enough. Timothée's plane departs in a half hour, he could be boarding it right now I could already be too late.. but I don't care.

I need to try.

"How much longer?" I desperately ask the driver for maybe the tenth time now. He doesn't get frustrated with me, instead he frowns slightly.

"Just five minutes darling, hang in there." I sit back in my seat, trying my best to relax but my nerves don't allow for that to happen. My heart is racing, I'm imagining how pathetic I'll look when I get to the airport and I can't find him in the sea of people.

I bite my lip until I taste blood in my mouth. My heart finally stops thrashing in my chest. I finally decide to pull out my phone, at least to see if he has boarded the airplane or not but he doesn't pick up which only makes me worry more. I throw the phone beside me and place my elbows on my knees trying to steady myself again.

The cab driver clears his throat. "You're not late for a flight are you?" He asks, making me tilt my head up and look at him through the mirror.

I shake my head which doesn't seem to surprise him. "So you're going to see someone off before they leave correct?" He guesses, and I can't help but nod in defeat. The cab driver sighs loudly. "I hope he's worth all of that stress." 

"He is." I say in a heartbeat, which makes the cab driver speed up a little more.

"Good, because we're almost there."

I see JFK airport and I watch him drive up the main entrance. I'm pulling out my cash and as I hand it to him desperately he thanks me sincerely. And then I'm rushing out the car, grabbing my phone and slamming the door shut. Dating towards the entrance I call Timothée and as I listen to the beeps through my phone I'm scanning the place for a head full of wild curls.

This is bad, the airport is crowded, I don't know where I should be heading to look for him and every face I scan isn't his. I wish I knew what he was wearing, maybe then I'd spot him. He must have gone through security by now, or he's already sitting on that plane waiting to leave this all behind him.

I'm way too late.

I take my phone out, try again one last time but there was no use. He was gone. But for some reason I couldn't accept that. I couldn't accept the fact that my luck was this bad. That once I finally came to my senses and I rushed to bid him farewell, the plane took off without letting me say goodbye to the boy I love.