"Once a girl gets familiar with being on her own, it's hard for her to be emotionally connected to anyone. She's not trying to go back to the girl she used to be."
⚠️This book contains sexual content and explicit language
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Jayda "You always having causal encounters with these stupid bitches. Then they start texting my phone talking about who am I?"
"But I'm not messing with nobody but you Jay-"
"Honestly cut the bullshit. You've cheated on me before and I took you back every time like a dumb bitch in love. Stop fucking lying to me bruh." I said feeling my anger rise.
Kwame's face changed subtly when I went to instagram and pulled out screenshots.
"Bruh I don't know what you mean...Encounters?" He said sounding dumb
"Yes nigga, that's what you doing right? Encountering bitches causally."
"Now you quoting shit from movies?"
"It don't fucking matter, you're doing it right? You really a joke deadass. You have a loyal ass female right in front of you and you still entertaining let alone fucking these bitches making me look fucking stupid because I'm JACKING YOU. And I try to give you the benefit of the doubt but....you know what I'm done"
I turned around and walked away, before I started blacking on him and I started seeing red.
"Fuck you mean you done? You not going nowhere"
"Nigga yes I am and you're not stopping me. I'm done with you. Constantly cheating. Am I not good enough for you?"
He stood there silently.
"Wow. No answer is my answer then."
Getting angrier, I started tearing up, as I entered the room to pack all of my things over at his place. I've done nothing but love this boy to death and I'm not good enough for him. All the time and feelings I've invested, meant nothing. This whole "relationship" meant nothing.
I locked the door and grabbed my duffle bag.
I started reminiscing the entire 2 years I spent with him and it was all a lie. Interrupting my thoughts, I hear banging on the door.
"Jayda open this door right NOW!" He said with irritation in his voice. "Fuck you. I'm not good enough for you right? Go be with that other bitch." I yelled packing my clothes. "I'm not dealing with this shit man" he said walking away from the door into another room.
As he walked to the other room, I ran to the door and opened it, "Exactly like you always fucking do, give up. That's why you cheated on me how many times? You're a bitch." I said as I slammed the door closed again.
I threw on my sweater and was getting ready to leave and glanced at the picture of us on his mirror. So many emotions were running through my head right about now, and I ripped it into pieces. I wanted nothing to do with Kwame.
Not wanting to be here anymore, I grabbed my things and opened the door and Kwame just stood there, with his tall frame looking down at me.
"You not really leaving." He said with a cold look in his eyes. "Fuck you." I said throwing the ripped up picture of us in his face and walking past him. As I'm trying to go he grabs my arm restricting me from going downstairs.
"Get off of me." I said calmly tired of yelling. At this point I was exhausted. He kept his hold on me and silence filled the hallway. "You really gonna leave me?"
I snatched my arm out of his grip and ran to the door, making sure to slam it .
"Go be with that bitch Sade since I'm not good enough for you." I yelled at him as he stood in the door way sticking the middle finger up.
Finally making it to my car, I got in and pulled off.
I didn't want to be home where I would be wrapped up in my thoughts. I told myself that I'm done crying and feeling sorry for myself. I just needed to clear my mind and there was only one place I went to do that.
12 AM Walking towards the Brooklyn Bridge, I got a glimpse of the water, and automatically felt at ease mentally. Water had a way of calming me down, and helped me think rationally.
I sighed and looked down at my phone seeing missed calls and text from Kwame. "Leave me alone." I said under my breath blocking his number.
I stared at the water as my thoughts crept up on me. The thought of 2 years and constant cheating just made me angry, to the brink of tears. Just thinking about how much I've put up with and been through because I thought I was in love.
"I'm not falling in love again. I'm done." I said out loud in the discomfort of my own thoughts. With everything being mentally draining again, I got up and walked back to my car.
Walking back there was faint music in the background as of it was coming from a club and then a group of males approaching where I was in the middle of the walkway.
Looking from the side of my eye, you could tell they were all drinking, and I didn't want to deal with them either so I picked up my pace.
"Excuse me ma," one said as I started to walk past them, "not to bother you and all but why you walking by yourself? It's dangerous in these streets." He said talking to me. For some apparent reason I decided to stop. "I'm good I can handle myself, thanks though." I said as I turned back around and continued walking to my car.
"Where you walking to?" He asked as he jogged catching up to me. Still walking, I ignored him and pulled out the keys to my BMW, and unlocked my door.
"Can I ask you a question?" He said as I approached my car, stopping my in my tracks. I turned around and looked at him. I examined his tall frame and his body covered in tattoos including on his face. My eyes went from his height, to the jewelry that was glistening in the light from the lamp post.
Interrupting my staring, he asked his question getting slightly closer to my body. "Why you out here by yourself this time of night? And why you ignoring me when I'm tryna make sure you good?" He said with slight irritation.
Chuckling under my breath, I decided to answer his question so he can go about his life. "One because it's none of your business, and two because I'm not interested. Thanks for walking me though." I said quickly trying to get into my car not giving him a chance to answer back.
"Who said I was interested? I was tryna make sure you were okay mamas"
"That's not my name." I said sternly with an attitude.
"Well mine is Shemar, nice to meet you." He said with a slick grin on his face.
"Goodnight, Shemar" I said rolling my eyes. I started my car and pulled out the parking lot, ready to go home and sleep. I was exhausted and over it.
