Reverse BatFam Trash

Phone Flirting (BirdFlash) ((Short))

-yes, I know cell phones exist. But for plot reasons... yeah-

Ages:

Tim - 19

Jason - 17

Wally - 15

Dick - 13

Though Dick had gone nocturnal, a lot of other teens slept at night, which made communication difficult. Mornings and Evenings were his only opportunities to call or face time. Dick was excited to realize it was almost 5:20. He ran from his room and sprinted down the stairs, right as the phone rang.

He answered the phone ecstatically. 

"Hey, It's me, What are you're other two wishes?"

"Wally!" Dick giggled, leaning over the staircase banister, clutching the land line to his ear.

"Hey, I can't see you, but are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got fine written all over you!"

"Nope, I'm a  parking ticket cause I NEED your money!"

"Oh, wow, nice!" Wally chuckled over the line. "Have a nice nap?"

"I thought it'd be shorter, I legit slept like 11 hours straight."

"' I thought it'd be shorter'; story of my life! Also, damn! you been hitting the Benadryl or something?"

"Yeah something like that."

The conversation went quiet as neither were sure what to say.

"What's the weather like in Central?"

"Uh, sunny. a little cloudy." Wally answered, sounding relieved. "Let me guess, it's pouring rain over there."

"Yeah." Dick said, glancing out the window in the other room (no one bothered closing doors any more). "How'd you guess?"

"It always rains in Gotham."

"Valid." Dick said. "by the way, did you hear about Arty and Zatana?" He gushed. Dick had no one else to talk to about the team. His brothers and Barbra knew about Dick's "Baby justice league" (Roy ranted about it frequently), but everyone was tired of hearing about the relationship gossip of the week.

"Oh my god yes! they are so cute...as friends..." Wally muttered.

The team had tragically inherited a disregard for gay people's existence; this was awkward since at least four of them (and Zatanna) were self-closeted Queers.

"I know..."Dick commented.

"Oh my god, They're CLEARLY Gay!"

The phone went silent. 

"Who was that?" Wally asked.

Dick felt a flurry of emotions; shock, fear, anger, all bubbling up inside him.

"JASON!" Dick screamed, pulling his phone down. His goddamn big brother was on the other line.

"Hey Dickie." Jason said over the phone.

"GET OFF THE LINE!" Dick whined.

"Or what?" Jason asked. Dick could almost hear his brother's shit-eating grin. "Whatcha going to do, Dickie? Beat me up?"

"YEAH!" Dick shouted indignantly.

"Yeah? You're gonna beat me up?" Jason teased, pretty cocky for someone three rooms away.

"Jay?" Wally sighed. "How long have you been listening?"

"Long enough to know you probably have a notebook of pickup lines."

"Jay!" Dick squealed,  dying of embarrassment. He slammed the phone down on the side-table. running the lounge. Jason was sitting on the desk, listening to some thing Wally was saying over the phone. "Jay, stop it!"

"Oh, hold on, Wally." Jason moved the receiver away from his face. "Dick, kiddo can we talk later I'm on the phone-" His brother tackled him, causing a huge crash. Dick was throwing punches, Jason was holding him back by his forehead, a move Dick was completely sick of.

"What? What's going on?" A voice called from the doorway. "HEY!" The two were forced apart, Dick being dragged back by his coller. "What they hell is going on here?" Tim demanded.

"Jay was eavesdropping on the other line!" Dick complained.

"Goddammit, Jason, you can't keep doing this!" Tim scolded. He'd been interrupted in the middle of heating up dinner "Now HANG UP." 

Reluctantly, Jason replaced the retriever, grumbling.

"Both of you say sorry."

"But-"

"I'm in charge tonight. Say Sorry."

Both reluctantly apologized.

"Good. Now, Dickie, go finish your call." Tim let him go, and the thirteen-year-old rushed out. "Jason, I hope you feel ashamed."

"What? Don't you want to know what our baby brother is talking about with his Boyfriend?"

"Well obviously!" Tim strutted back to the kitchen, Jason on his heels."We all do, but we can't keep a running commentary!" Tim grabbed the other landline and showed Jason how he kept in muted. "Let's see where they left off."

"Oh my god, Walls I'm SO sorry!"

"There you are! Dude, what happened?" Wally sounded super worried.

"It's fine, but I sure showed him!" Jason held in a fit of laughter.

"Whoa! That's freaking tough!" Wally exclaimed.

"Thanks -I mean- I know." Dick tried to sound tough. Which didn't fool anyone....

....Anyone except Wally