Chapter Forty-Three {Be Ours}

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Carter was nice, he was funny, and everything I didn't picture someone who would date Joey is like. But they had apparently been together for years and I was still a little shocked — upset that Joey, Joey who ruined my life for a little while. Was a happy, gay, bisexual? A guy with a nice boyfriend.

Jokes on him I guess, I had two boyfriends.

I stopped in my tracks when that thought crossed my mind. At this point I was standing on the sidewalk, trying to make my way home. My head was dizzy but this time it wasn't with the pain from my head, but from the alcohol, I had drank.

I had two perfectly good men waiting for me at my house, two amazing men who wanted to be with me and here I was questioning everything. Why? Because it all seemed so surreal. None of it seemed real and I was just waiting to wake up in the hospital again and be told that I've been in a coma for six years and that I was all by myself. That Henry and Jorden had gotten married, had kids and I was all alone.

My stomach churned with that, my body panicking as my feet became numb with an oncoming panic attack. I found the nearest bush and tipped over emptying everything that was in my stomach. Which wasn't much thankfully. I dry heaved a few times before standing up and grabbing onto a nearby pole to steady myself. I felt my phone vibrate a few times in my pocket, and once I had the strength I was able to take it out with half shakey hands.

Henry🕴: I'm heading to the airport soon.

Where are you?
Getting a little worried.
Uber is here. Call me.

3 missed calls from Henry🕴

Jord🐷 : U ok>
?*
Call me
Maatttyy

2 missed calls from Jord 🐷

I signed texting Henry back first

Me: all good. Sry. omw home :)

I put in Jorden's number but failed to call it. I just wanted to get home. So that's what I did. I got up from where I was leaning over and walked the best I could home. I had trust that Henry would text Jorden.

But of course, I had to overthink everything and as I walked I had to think about how Jorden would feel if I didn't call him. Would he think I was picking Henry again? Why didn't I call him? Because I was a block away from the apartment.

But he didn't know that and the guilt hit me in the face. I stood in the elevator and looked at my phone. No new messages besides an ok from Henry. I leaned my head back, closing my eyes as I tried not to fall asleep with the soothing ride in the small box.

The doors beeped open and when I opened my eyes I was greeted to the face of Jorden, his hair looking like his fingers had run through them a dozen times. I gave him a small smile, walking out. He put a hand on my shoulder, not saying anything as we walked back to the apartment.

It was quiet

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It was quiet. I hadn't known Jorden to not speak, but he just made me a tea, kissed my head and went into his room. The door was open and I could hear him talking to someone. I didn't think it was Henry based on what they were talking about. But I didn't pry too much. It was ten minutes later and he came back out, tucking his phone into his back pocket. "Sorry. Molly says hi."

"How is she doing?" I asked, finishing the last of my tea and walking to the sink, rinsing it the teacup and putting it in the sink.

"She's great. Enjoying having the place to herself, as always. But she has a PT meeting next Friday so I should go back for that. You and Henry can come if you want. If everything goes well tomorrow with your appointments." I nodded, leaning my back on the sink looking my teammate over. I found myself biting the inside of my lip as I looked at him. Jorden sighed, leaning on the island adjacent to me. "I know this isn't easy for you. I can't imagine how confused you are. But just know what every your decide we'll both be ok with it."

"It'll change everything," I mumbled, my eyes focusing on the island top.

"I know."

"We wouldn't be able to tell anyone"

"Actually, Henrey and I already talked about that."

"About what?" I looked up at him, meeting his dark eyes.

"The plan, if it goes in the favour of us all being together. Is that you and Henry, if you wanted can be ours in public. Like out out. I mean, when they times to come out if needed. And I'm more than happy to be the best friend, roommate thing. Especially when we're on a team together. It's not like we'd suck face in public anyways. But, nobody needs to know."

"No, you're right nobody does. It's something ew can easily hide. But — the roommate's best friend?"

He shrugged, still with his silly playful smile on his lips. "You and Henry have history. People know that. It makes more sense for you two to be together and I be the roommate than us or me and Henry be together and one of you be the roommate. Someone in the media would piece that away."

"Wow, you guys really thought about all that?"

"Well, yea of course. We had a lot of time to talk about things, when you were in your coma we spend hours just talking about what we should do, and say to you. What would happen if you didn't wake up." His voice wavered a bit when he said that last part, got lower like he didn't want to say it at all. Which I couldn't blame him for, he just admitted that he was making plans for me if I died. But I didn't find that as hurtful as I thought I would. Just more — shocking.

I looked at him, mouth slightly open as his eyes stayed on my face. "You guys — I mean, of course, you did. Just, hearing it."

"No, I know. It wasn't something we talked about a lot. We just — We knew that it had to be done just in case. We only really talked about it once."

"What did you — um. What did you agree on?"

Jorden's lips pursed as his eyes wandered my face. He sighed, walking towards me, I hesitated when he reached a hand out to me and took mine. But I let him. And we stood there, standing in the kitchen holding hands, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand.

"We agreed, that if you didn't wake up, we would leave it alone for a little while. We would meet up in three or five months and see how we both felt. And if we still had that mutual feeling we would try. But if not, we would just be friends, and we would never — we would never forget you." I could tell he was getting upset, his eyes got glossy, he started to lick his lips a few times as his grasp became tighter. "I'm so, so glad that didn't happen Matty. Because I don't think I could do it without you. Not that Henry isn't amazing, he is. But if something happened to you the guilt of it all—"

I shushed him, taking a step closer and wrapping my arms around his neck, letting his head

bury into my neck as he shook with a deep breath.

And I couldn't help but think about how well he fit there at that moment. 

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