I DO

Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Present

Nelly

I never thought black could be a peaceful color. It swallowed me alive. It was dark. It was numb. It was empty. It was stripped down from every emotion a human can touch with their heart and soul. It carried loneliness that prevented any light to enter. In the dark, no one could find hope. There was only me and myself and the darkness.

It was comfortable and I felt protected. Safe. Comfortable. In my own little bubble.

Until my little bubble fell apart and I drowned.

There were walls. They were unbelievably high, solid and iron hard. They were my shield from the burning light. 

But they betrayed me once they began to tremble and crumble like an earthquake was starting to grow underneath me.

I felt a small velvety touch. So soft, so delicate and so harmless.

I loathed it.

Then I heard whispers. Broken, beautiful and desperate.

I loathed it.

These small whispers and those delicate touches...they dug into the darkness, trying to pull me out. My small bubble came apart, my walls crumbled and it felt like a crack in my soul. . I lifted my palm up to shield my eyes from the gleaming light.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. His voice was broken, just like his words. "I'm so sorry..."

He continued to utter those words as if he was praying for forgiveness for all his sins. But in the darkness, there was no such thing as forgiveness. There were only endless of unforgettable and unforgivable nightmares.

For a moment there was silence and for a split second I thought the voice was gone and I could crawl back to my shallow hole. But that spell broke when he began to speak again, his voice breaking through the walls around me.

"I should have known...I should have known the only person you needed protection from was me. But my selfishness...my selfishness didn't allow me to stay away from you. And look where it led us." he mumbled; his voice close to my ear while a felt a featherlike touch on my fingers. I felt a tear from a broken soul and I twitched. His breath halted and my heart stopped beating. And then he whispered quietly, taking my hand in his and squeezing it tightly. And the touch held a promise. "I know you can hear me. So, I want you to remember this, Nelly. When you wake up, you will have your freedom. I promise to show you a path out of here...but not before I show you the truth. A truth that should have been revealed a long time ago, before...before," This. 

It was silent again. And I realized it was because I was fading away, losing consciousness once again.. A part of me wanted to stay and listen to the unfinished and unspoken words while another part of me, the much stronger part, wanted to cuddle close with the darkness stay there until I would be forced again to wake up and fight for my freedom. A little more, I told myself before I drifted back asleep.

***

Something slammed shut. The sound came again. Again. Again. And again, until I had enough.

My teeth gritted to the point a sharp pain shot down my jaw and I finally forced my eyes to open. I blinked, trying to readjust my eyesight and winced at the slight headache that seemed to become my unwanted friend. I noticed the light. Things were lighter, there was no longer darkness. But the emotions still ran deep, they simmered savagely through my veins but this time the rage was back and it was mixed with everything inside me. It made me alert again. My instinct to survive and protect myself kicked in.