Shut Up, Padfoot!

16

I had to get out of there.

After what happened at the psychiatric ward, I couldn't keep living in the Freedwill Manor.

After seeing the woman's eyes bulge out of her face and instantly close sent shivers down my spine. I raced to get a nurse but it was too late.

Too late..

Pandora cried.

She sobbed into her dead great grandmother's lap.

And I killed her.

I knew she was on the verge of death but I kept pushing. I kept pushing and pushing until her last breath.

She couldn't even give a final goodbye to her granddaughter.

The ride on the train and the car was silent. Pandora daren't make eye contact with me or even interact with me. I deserve it though.

We came home to her parents. They were so happy conversing across the living room in the love chair to the couch.

Pandora numbly stepped into the living room and announced Rosanna was dead.

Her father was the most heartbreaking. His own blood died at the hands of an irresponsible sixteen year old that his grandmother strived to keep alive with the spell.

When they knew I was actually Cry Phoenix, they screamed at me, sobbed, cried...

He held my elbows and shook me. He yelled at me, 'Why?'

I didn't have an explanation. I stood there, crying silently and taking it. Because it's my fault. It's my fault she's dead. I deserve the blame and the pain from her family that loved her.

Once they calmed down, they demanded for me to gather my things and leave. I did it because I understood the pain of losing a loved one. I understood they blamed me and I had no place to be there after killing Rosanna. I was banned from their home... that they so generously welcomed me into days ago.

The images of Rosanna's limp hand and the heartwrenching scene of her father's despair were painted on my eyelids.

I caused that.

I caused the pain and suffering I brought into that family.

Here, I sit on a bench in the train station.

I've sat here for hours. The darkness settled into the building and the candles glowered creepily in the black.

My luggage was seated next to me and I knew I'd have to head back to the orphanage soon or the trains will stop coming back. From there, I'd be kicked out of the station and left to wander the night until the morning.

I knew this all but it felt like the world suffocated me if I barely stood.

I deserve it though.

Because I'm a killer.

The train station I sat in is so starkly different from the one in my head. The one in my head.. God I sound fucking insane.

The white station replicated this one but it was so scarily blank that the difference with this dark station is eerie.

I should die..

No.

I have to atone for my sins.

I don't deserve the easy way out after killing her.

I should get up and head back to the orphanage. I should get a move on and beg God for forgiveness. I should atone as much as I can.

The last train pulled up.