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Chapter 35

Cameron Santiago POV

"You need to fix your attitude, kid." Kelley tells me as she finishes showering and heads to bed for a nap. She's my roommate for this camp.

"Coach really will pull you from the game next week if you don't start focusing."

I roll my eyes. I'm tired of people telling me I need to fix myself. I know that. I have been trying to but nothing is working. Talking to Dr. Lauren Scott hasn't been helping and she keeps telling me I won't get better without doing that one stupid exercise. But I don't want to relive the incident. I also don't want to keep feeling the way I do. The anger and guilt just always lingering over me. Guilt about what? Holding a gun against Ali. Bringing danger to those I love. Not being able to protect the ones I love. I'm angry that I'm scared to confront the incident. I'm angry that I'm taking out my bottled emotions against my teammates.

While in bed, I decided to scroll through twitter and see a couple of things I'm tagged in. Twitter is where I get all my news from. It keeps up to date with everything going on. As I scroll, I see an article written about me and my family. As I read it, I feel myself getting angrier and angrier. The author who wrote the article somehow found and linked the guy I murdered to his dad and how he murdered my family. I kept reading and I was at a loss of words. The article stated how my father was a coke-addict that owed people some money. There was information how the two people that murdered my family were drug dealers and my dad owed them money.

What the actual fuck! The source came from Jake's mother and apparently one of my distant uncles confirmed it. My eyes are just seeing red at this point. I feel myself get up out of bed and chuck my phone against the wall.

"What the fuck, Cameron!" Kelley says. I'm fuming at this point pacing back and forth. Everything is a lie. My father kept this secret and got my whole family killed. What type of fucked up endless circle is this shit. Without thinking, I end up punching the wall repeatedly. I heard something shatter and that's when I realized the wall I had punched was holding a mirror, but angry me kept going.

"Cameron, stop!" I feel hands try to pull me out of my angry trance but I can't stop. I start kicking and punching even more. This was it. Everything I've held back was resurfacing.

Ali Krieger POV

Ash and I just finished showering after our practice. It was nice and peaceful as we cuddled and watched TV. I haven't been sleeping much because of the nightmares but just relaxing helps release some of the exhaustion. Everytime I close my eyes, I see flashbacks of Cameron holding the gun on me or her holding it against her temple. I see flashes of her shooting Jake over and over again. When I sleep my mind loves to create scenarios of if she did shoot herself or if I died how Ash and Cam would spiral without me. It was rough to say the least.

As I feel my eyes begin to close, I hear someone banging on my door.

"I'll get it babe." Ash says knowing I was tired.

"Thanks."

As she opens the door, a frantic Kelley appears saying, "You guys need to come to my room. Cameron won't calm down." Without another word, we make our way running a few doors down to their room.

When we get in there we see Cameron picking stuff up and chucking it. Her left hand also seems to be streaming blood. Her breathing is uneven and there are tears streaming down her face. I don't think she's aware of her surroundings because she doesn't even acknowledge our presence. We all halt by the door until she starts punching the wall over and over. Ash decides to take the lead so Cam doesn't end up hurting herself.

"Cammy, you're okay. You need to stop or else you're going to hurt yourself." Ash says but she's not listening. It's as if she's in some sort of trance. Ash notices and comes from behind Cameron and tries to get control of her fist. Cam fights to get out of her grasp. She ends up elbowing Ash in the face which takes Ash by surprise and releases her grip from her. Cameron makes a bee line for the door, but she doesn't realize Kelley and I are in her path. Both of us embrace her knowing she's stronger than us both. She fights hard to get out of our arms, but we hold her.

"Cameron, it's just us. Listen to my voice." I tell her but it's no use.

"Everything is a lie." Cameron strains to say as she fights to leave. "Let me go, please."

"We aren't going anywhere, Cam. You need to snap out of it." Kelley tells her.

"Please. It's all been a lie." Cam cries out. I feel her break down when she realizes we won't let her go. Kelley and I lower her to the floor and sit her in my arms. Once she's in my arms, Kelley goes check on Ash whose nose is bleeding from the elbow to the face.

"What's been a lie, Cammy?" I question her. She shakes her head.

"Everything! And it hurts. Make it stop. Please." She sobs.

"Let it all out. Let it all out. It's okay." I have a feeling a lot of things are processing for her and she reached her limit.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She grips me tightly. That's when I noticed her hand was still heavily bleeding.

"When you guys are done, can one of you wrap her hand and hold pressure on it." I tell Kelley and Ash. They nod and Ash grabs a towel and heads over to us.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Cam kept repeating.

She's not making any sense. "Cameron, can you tell me where you are?" I ask.

"I don't want to do it, Ali. You keep telling me it's okay, but Ash needs you." Cameron gets out. In her mind, she's back at the house.

"No, Cameron. Listen to me. I'm okay. We aren't there anymore. I'm okay and you are okay. Ash and Kelley are here with us." I nod to Ash to talk to her.

"Hi, Cammy. I'm here, I got you, okay?" Ash starts. "Listen to my voice and bring yourself back to us." Ash encourages her.

"There you go, Cam. We all are here with you. You are safe. Nobody is hurt." Kelley joins.

As we all take turns whispering sweet nothings to her, she slowly comes out of her trance like state.
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I have listened to your ideas and suggestions. I wrote so many chapters and let me tell you guys. DRAMA central for Cameron. Always.

Also, I appreciate every single one of you and your support of this story. I really didn't think I would follow through for this book but you guys keep me motivated.

Note: Please self isolate and wash your hands. That simple. I know it's difficult but it'll help slow things down. I'm a first responder and work in the medical field. Seeing first hand of things happening, I want to say take care of yourself and the people around you.
Stay safe. Stay healthy.

Much love,
~AK