Chasing in the Wild (University Series #3)

23

TW: harassment, self-harm, abuse

"Elyse, kumain ka muna." 

I shook my head, still staring at the white coffin in front of me. I stared at it for so long that I didn't notice the tears flowing through my face. 

"Eli, please. Just eat or at least drink water. Made-dehydrate ka niyan." Ida still tried to give me the bowl of soup.

She did not get a response from me. I just stood up and walked slowly towards the coffin. My lips started to shake again when I saw my mom lying there in her white dress, looking so peaceful. I put my hand on the glass. I could only caress her face from there. 

"Mommy," I cried again. "Wake up..." 

She looked so peaceful, but her death wasn't. That made me mad. The rage I felt was overflowing inside of me. She died with so many questions inside her head. She died with a broken heart. 

"Eli..." My dad tried to hold my arm. 

"Don't touch me!" I yelled so loudly that everyone in the room went silent. 

I looked at my dad with so much anger. My chest was hurting. I could physically feel the pain in my heart. Tears started to flow because of too much anger, setting aside the pain I was feeling because of my mother's death. 

"Don't you dare touch me!" I pointed at his face. "You disgust me! You disgust me so badly I want to fucking kill myself!" 

"Elyse..." Dad sighed. "Don't do this here. We're in your mother's wake." 

"Her wake... her wake!" I cried again. "This wouldn't have happened if you just... if you just... tried to become a decent human being, for fuck's sake! How dare you show up here in her wake?! Leave! Leave my mom alone!" 

"No, this wouldn't have happened if your boyfriend did not-"

"Fuck you both!" I yelled. "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" I closed my eyes and screamed at everyone in the room.

"Elyse." Ida tried to stop me. "You need to rest." 

"Do not disrespect me like that. We will talk at home." My dad sounded mad. 

Ida grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the room to escape the stares of the people who came to my mother's wake. She opened the back door of our car and tried to get me inside. 

"We will go home first so you can take a rest. You haven't slept for two days." Ida sat beside me. 

Kuya Roel started the engine and glanced at me through the mirror with his apologetic eyes. I looked outside the window with my fist shaking out of anger. 

"Elyse, try to get some sleep, okay?" Ida reminded me.