Chasing in the Wild (University Series #3)

24

"Mommy, I'm leaving." 

I sat on the monobloc beside her. I couldn't attend her funeral because my father was there and I didn't want to see him anymore, so I just waited until it was over and everyone was gone. 

"I decided to leave." I sighed heavily. "I feel so... so ashamed. I want to start a new life... I want to save my mental health, Mommy. It's getting worse. I'm getting worse each day." 

Ilang araw na 'kong umiiyak. Wala nang lumalabas na luha sa mga mata ko, but I could still feel pain. All I could ever feel was pain. Wala nang galit. Sakit na lang ang nararamdaman ko. 

"I can't stay here anymore..." I bit my lower lip. "Kuya's already taking care of my papers... I will go with Ida. I will work at their company abroad until... until I finally feel like I'm living again... Everything is so sudden." 

I felt dead. I felt so tired of having my goals all set in front of me. My life with Sevi was so amazing, but at the same time, I felt tired of always trying to achieve more. Maybe I was really too young to settle and deal with everything that happened. 

"I will come back and visit you again. I love you, Mommy." I smiled at myself. 

I went back to the car where my brother was waiting. He refused to leave the car and see my mom's coffin below the ground. He said it was too much for him. He was full of regrets. He said he could have prevented it. 

I also thought of that. I could have prevented it... but her condition was already getting worse in the first place. She didn't tell me. She always acted okay in front of me... What could I do? It happened already. I shouldn't be bothered by the things I can't control anymore. I should look forward. I should live my life for myself this time. 

I stayed in my brother's condo for a week until I saw him leaving in formal attire. 

"Hiro's birthday party," he informed me. "Aren't you going to attend? You should go outside and meet other people." 

I was already feeling a little better, so I decided to attend his birthday party. I didn't expect to see Yanna, though! Did they get back together already?! 

I remembered how she used to tease me with Sevi. It annoyed me again! Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago at ganoon pa rin ang mapang-asar niyang ngiti. I rolled my eyes and left to look for my brother. 

I couldn't see him, so I just went for a drink. When I saw Yanna leaving, I went to the veranda and saw Hiro there on the bench, contemplating. I leaned against the wall beside the bench with a glass of champagne in my hand. 

"How are you?" I asked. I was curious if he already met Avi. 

"I'm fine." He nodded. "How are you?" 

"My mother died last week," I informed him.

"I'm sorry, what?" His eyes widened. He didn't know, huh. My brother did not tell him? "I'm sorry... I... I didn't know..."