My Hero Academia: When All Hell Breaks Loose

Chapter 53 - Ass Beaten

I stand in front of class 1-A in the common room about to ruin my reputation more than usual.

"Alright, so here's the tea: with that booty shaking happening last night, some of the teachers are expecting ya'll be doing the jig, AKA, fucking each other, AKA, sex."

"Wait, why are you giving this talk? Shouldn't one of the teachers be informing us or perhaps the nurse?" Oh, Iida, you kill me.

"I mean, Shouta can inform you. He is supposed to, but he's done with everybody's shit; therefore, I am doing it instead. We can get Midnight if you prefer?" I ask.

"Yeah, let's get her!" Mineta exclaims, but Jiro slams her ear jack into him and knocks him out. I'll allow it.

"No." Jiro takes place.

"Neither of you should be qualified to teach it." Momo attempts to inform me.

"I can see me, but Midnight? She would nail at it! The only reason she isn't doing it is that Shouta was afraid she would encourage it." And he isn't wrong! " However, this is not the topic of discussion. Based on Shouta's requests, I'm not allowed to tell you how to do the jig and turn it all around. Look up porn if you are curious. All you have to do is make sure you aren't connected to the school wifi somehow if you do it. I'm here to inform you about the risks of sex. First off, does everyone know what sex is?"

God has blessed me because everybody nods, a few blushing.

I continue," Thank fucking above. I don't want to give that talk. Now, the two main things to worry about is pregnancy and STDs, or sexually transmitted diseases. For women, pregnancy is a bitch, and raising a child is hard as fuck. I won't go too into it, but no matter what way you take, it will have its own struggles. As you are teenagers, pregnancy is going to be worst because, as growing teenagers, you require a ton of nutrients. Add another human on top of that, and you are not in the healthiest position. Men are expected to help. If you happen to have a child early, don't be an ass like my father and leave. That child is as much of your responsibility as it is the mother's. It's rough being a single mother. Ask my own. She would be willing to answer your questions.

STDs are what everyone has to worry about as they come up everywhere. For fuck sakes, they were recorded in 1494 amongst French troops! Well, that's the most significant case for a while. When the Vietnam War started, that's when shit hit the fan. People were being deployed because communism is a bitch. As they didn't know if they would come back alive, they said 'fuck marriage' and literally fucked. That's also the time when STDs become more talked about because of the 60s having very open people."

Class 1-A gives me a confused look.

"What's the Vietnam War?" Kaminari asks. I wish I could slam my head on the table, but these kids are shit at cleaning. I've watched them. Isn't this history that should be taught instead of 'hey, quirks are fantastic and are needed to create strong beings!'?

I sigh, " Whatever. Anyway, unless you want pain and suffering on your pee-pee or your va-jay-jay, make sure your partner is STD free. Now, to discourage you further, I brought pictures stolen from Recovery Girl, so thank her later!" I pull out the pictures from the folder I brought and show each of the images while explaining the problem.

By the end, all of them had gone to their rooms. Damn hormonal teenagers. THIS IS LIFE! I huff as I gather the pictures and head back to the teacher's dorm. When I arrive, of course, Shouta and Hizashi are cuddling on the couch while working somehow.

"Alright, don't be expecting to be a grandfather anytime soon!" Shouta looks up from his papers.

"Good. But grandfather?"