t w e l v e

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An hour went by and we stayed like this for a while.

It felt good to talk about all the things that happened to me in my past.

It felt good to have finally cried. I cried for my mother, I cried because of the abuse and I cried about finally opening up to two of my brothers.

For once Victor wasn't the big scary brother, his face was full of fear. Both him and Jon held me tight in their arms.

"Thank you, for listening to me." I thanked my brothers. "But I am okay now."

"I am not letting you go." Jon whispered and Victor just nodded in approval.

"The boys are away for another hour. It is still morning so your friends won't bother, that means we can still hug you." Victor explained to me.

I really appreciate they love, but it made me feel weak and fragile.

"Can we maybe go down and watch TV?" I suggested.

Both of them got up and without another word Victor lifted me up and walked with Jon behind him down the stairs.

He sat down on the couch, Jon besides him, I laid on their laps.

I looked up to him If they were serious right now. I felt like the boys needed more emotional support than me.

Jon turned on the TV and switched to Netflix.

"What do you want to watch?" He asked me, smiling down to me.

I blankly starred at him and then sighed. "Rick and Morty?"

"Sure. What season?"

"I don't care." I told them truthfully.

I kind of regret telling them about that a little, even though it felt good to not bear with it alone anymore, I can only imagne how overprotective they are going to be in the future.

When I was small I thought when people would know how Simon treats me I would get in trouble. I believed they would think I am weird for being punished so much. It wasn't until some years ago that I started to realise that my parents were the ones at fault.

But still, I did not wanted my mom to get in trouble. I wanted to bear with it and move out when I would turn 18. Well, that plan would never become reality now.

When the episode ended Jon and Victor glanzed at me from aboth.

"Lil, there is a question I still have." Jon seemed uncomfortable, avoiding my gaze. "So your stepfather abused you, but what was your mother doing?"

I looked back to Victor, who was watching me carefully. "She was observing." I mumbled thinking about the time, when Simon started hitting me. "At first she was disstressed when he beat me, but when time went by, she just hid in her room and drank there."

"You said he was touching you? If I am allowed to ask how did he touch you? Did he-. Did he-?" Jon wanted to know more. His voice broke, his face turned so worried and hurt at the same time. I felt Victor tensing up, his face turned dark.

"I dont really remember, you know, I dont think he raped me, but I am not sure." I answered them. Talking about this was hard. "I hope in the future I will remember my dreams and then I can tell for sure."

"Maybe you want to see a pychologst?" Jon suggested.

"No. No." I shoock my head. "I really dont-"

"WE ARE BACK AND WE HAVE SNACKS!" Caleb's voice startled us, I think I never heard him shout before. 

"AND I HAVE COOL MOVIES! LILITH I EVEN GOT DISNEY MOVIES! I AM THE COOLEST BIG BROTHER, RIGHT? LILITH WHERE ARE YOU?" Elijah started screaming, too. 

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