Is it next time?

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The wall always came caving down at night, the shovels always hit the walls, he always prayed that they would come. Thomas Shelby always woke up covered in sweat with the urge to scream. The war lived on in him, after chewing him up, spitting him out he promised himself that he would never spend a day idle. A new day meant new opportunities. Thomas Shelby would never feel that helpless again.

So why did he still feel it? burning his bones at night, flames licking at his heart as he fell hopelessly back into the dark tunnels.

As he rubbed away at the sleep in his eyes he looked over to his pipe, the source of small relief and wondered if his nights sleep was worth saving. It wasn't. Getting out of bed he had a momentary sway and reminded himself of the bullet wound in his chest. Gently rubbing over the bandage he let his mind wander...to her face, looking down at him with concern as she fixed him.

Thomas stood in the middle of his room, half naked in wonderment of her arrival into his life. Did he believe in fate? no he wasn't that sentimental. Quickly throwing his freshly tailored suit he thought about her hands on his naked chest and groaned. It wasn't the time. 

Leaving the house under darkness was like smoking a cigarette to him- second nature. There was business he had to attend to out of the city and the need to put as much distance between him and small heath was getting greater every moment. Turning the corner he saw that the doctors surgery light was on and he stopped.

Amelia didn't sleep, that was one thing that they had in common. Nearly every morning he would pass to find the light on and he always wondered if she ever slept.

---

A week had passed and Thomas was arranging his newly acquired race tracks across the country. Having not left his office, only to wash and change he had found himself avoiding his family. There was was this feeling that sat in his gut when he knew something was happening. Thomas had found out that his little sister Ada was pregnant with his childhood best friend Freddie Thorne.

The urge to have Freddie's throat slit was burning in him so he had to get out of the way. Thomas wasn't even sure if Polly was aware of his little sisters pregnancy. Just as he poured himself another Whiskey his receptionist Lizzie Stark walked in.

"Lizzie your supposed to fuckin' knock" he growled but she wasn't an inch bothered by his frosty greeting.

Lizzie and Tommy went had known each other a long time, Tommy had gone to Lizzie in hopes of comfort on some dark nights which she kindly gave to him. Lizzie had done good by Tommy and he would always ensure she never had to work was a working girl again. 

"Fuck sakes Tom" she hissed as she flung open the curtains at the side of his desk "Are you going to eat today?" and she placed her hands on her hips and waited.

Rubbing his eyes he really didn't have the time "Lizzie..." he started.

"I'll go get you somethin but you've got to eat it. You're bloody wasting away in ere and with that fucking hole in your chest Tom-you gotta look after yourself!" and she leaned over his desk and began clearing away dirty glasses and ash trays. Thomas internally groaned at the invasion but he knew he just had to let her do her thing.

Just as Lizzie left she turned to him and stopped, concern written across her face but she decided against what she wanted to say and left quietly. 

---

Two weeks had gone by quicker than he expected. The Peaky Blinders now officially held race tracks across the whole country and the time setting them up was worth the reward. Arthur was back on top of his game and drinking less, John was thinking about getting a wife to calm his unruly children and Polly was dealing with Ada's problem.

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