To Heal A Lonely Heart

I Had A Dream of us Having A Daughter

Jaskier stayed for another week before realizing that Geralt and I needed some time alone for ourselves. He stayed in Sodden, though, travelling from town to town and entertaining in the taverns.

After about three weeks, I was called to the village. Ana was giving birth, and though I didn't know much about that, never have seen a birth ever before – well, apart from our goats -, she wanted me as her midwife.

When I got there, she was laying in her bed, sweating and clutching on to her husband's hand. Thank the gods; he was there for her. And dear gods, what do I do?!

Okay, breathe, Nienna. You got this. Mother told you what to do, remember? Just relax and let her instruction guide you.

"Help me sit her up more," I told her husband, propping Ana's back up with more pillows. "Ana? I'm going to prop up your legs. Keep them like this, okay? And breathe," I said, trying to keep my voice calm, but I was nervous. Was I doing it right?

The contractions became stronger and the time between them shorter. By now, the poor girl was hissing every time they shook her body. The baby would come soon. I conjured a big bowl of hot water and some clean towels.

"The next one, you press, okay?" I said, and she did. Three more and I held a screaming little girl in my hands, while the mother lay there panting, tears in her eyes.

"Congratulations, it is a girl! Do you want to cut the umbilical cord," I asked the father. He nodded.

"She's so tiny," he whispered.

I bathed the little girl, wrapped her up in the towels and handed her to her mother.

"You know where to find me should you need me. Again, congratulations. She's gorgeous," I smiled at them both before leaving.

Exhausted, I made my way back home, Shadow carrying me along the familiar way, I didn't even have to hold her reins. So, I leaned forwards on her neck, resting against her and eventually falling asleep.

Her soft whinny woke me only a few minutes later, and I got off her back, falling directly into the arms of my husband, whom I didn't even notice coming out of the house.

"Hard day?" he asked, picking me up and carrying me inside.

I hummed in agreement, as he sat me down on the bench, before going back outside to pull saddle and bridle off my horse. I was resting my head on the table when Geralt came back in.

"That bad?" he asked.

"Believe me, childbirth is so much more brutal than it first seems," I yawned, glancing down at my dress, now slightly stained with blood.

"Come here," Geralt said, picking me up once again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me up the stairs and sat me down on our bed. I helped him pull off my dress, leaving me in a thin chemise, and let myself fall back onto the bed. Geralt undressed as well, I could hear his clothes hitting the ground one after the other. Then, the bed dipped down and I was pulled against him, my back flush against his chest.

"Sleep, my love," he whispered against my skin, kissing my shoulder softly, "You need it."

"Mh-mhh," I hummed weakly in reply.

It was true; I needed sleep. A child from the village had come here in the middle of the night, telling me that Ana was in labour. I had spent my day with her and her small family from the early morning hours to late noon. The lack of sleep caught up on me.

I snuggled closer to Geralt, his hand resting on my lower stomach held me close to him as I soaked up his warmth. He was still softly kissing up and down my exposed shoulder, the touch of his lips along with his even breath and slow, steady heartbeat calming me down immensely as I fell asleep in his arms.

I dreamed about holding a child of our own in my arms; the little girl's hair white like her father's and her eyes as green as a young leaf. I could feel the joy that Ana must have felt, the pain from a few minutes ago forgotten.

Too soon, I woke up, the bed completely empty. It was late afternoon now, maybe even early evening, as I got up and went to search for my husband. I found him in the kitchen, stirring in the pot of leftover rabbit stew from yesterday.

"Did you sleep well, my love," he asked when I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

"Yeah," I yawned, the remainder of my tiredness slowly leaving my body.

"And after what you've seen, you still want to go through the same?" he chuckled.

I pulled him to turn towards me. "Yes. I mean;" I sighed, "Ana was in incredible pain the whole time, but the moment she held her daughter, all that was forgotten. She was so happy, and so was her husband. Geralt, I want that for us. You should have seen them!" I beamed at him.

"You're still so sure we can do it, huh?" he murmured, smiling down at me.

"I know we can. It probably doesn't mean anything, but earlier I had a dream of us having a daughter. She had your hair and my eyes, and she was just... she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I sighed.

Geralt smiled at my description.

"You know, my love," he mumbled, gazing deep into my eyes, "If we really do it, if we are able to have a child, I would wish for it to be a girl. A little girl just as beautiful as her mother."

"Yeah?" I whispered, "Well I would like a son, as handsome as his father."

I leaned up on my tiptoes to press a gentle kiss on my husband's lips. With a deep hum, just as I was about to pull away, he cupped my cheeks and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss.

But when the smell of something burned filled the room, we shot apart and I quickly sat the pot off the stove.

"Fuck," we both muttered in unison, causing me to giggle slightly, as I lifted the spoon out of the pot. The bottom of the pot was crusted, but the rest of the stew was still edible, so it wasn't that bad. We ate, talking about everything and nothing, the topic of children forgotten for some time.

When we went to bed that night, we attempted to conceive one though. But, as the following week showed, to no avail. We would keep trying though.