"Trust is everything, respect is earned. What do you do, when the possibilities are endless to what your heart desires? There's NO LIMITS to what the future holds"
TW: This book includes violence, drugs, and domestic abuse. Please read with caution.
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I woke up this morning feeling different. I felt confused, and a bit remorseful. I woke up with the worst headache as if I spent the night before drinking. But honestly, all I could think about was Troy and how one moment could change everything. I looked over at my phone and checked the time. Sighing, reality had set in at what I had done. We didn't kiss, nor did we speak inappropriately, but in my heart, I knew that I was cheating on James.
I was wrong for inviting a friend over that I am actively attracted to. Given the circumstances between James and I, I'm vulnerable right now and I don't want Troy to think that I'm looking to him as a rebound. To tell you the truth, I can't explain why I drilled Troy so much about Lo, it's none of my business anyway. I have a family to think about and a wedding to plan regardless of what I'm feeling for Troy right now. I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower before getting dressed. I gathered my belongings and headed down to the lobby to check out.
Driving home, I gave myself a pep talk to get myself ready for what was to come. Given that we parted ways last night, I do not and will not text or call Troy today. If we just "happen" to converse, I will not ask about his whereabouts of last night or what happened. I will not disclose anything concerning last night to James, nor will I start an argument. I will remain cool, calm, and collected in front of our son, and I'll stay focused on this pending marriage. Arriving inside of the penthouse, it was quiet. I walked down the hall and peeked into Kylan's room.
He was nowhere to be found. I walked into James and I's bedroom and it was completely dark, James had our blackout curtains pulled. I dropped my things by the door, stripped out of my clothes and took a quick shower. I threw on a set of bra and panties and wrapped myself in my light pink silk robe. As I walked around the bed, James was sound asleep with Kylan in his arms. The sight of them was so peaceful, moments like this I really wish that James and I were on good terms. These are the moments that I live for.
Taking off my robe, I got in bed next to James and Kylan and snuggled under the covers. Sighing deeply, I felt James turning over. He woke up slightly to move Kylan and he noticed that I was in bed next to him. James handed Kylan over to me and I laid him next to me, while James readjusted himself in bed to wrap his arms around me. He kissed the back of my neck, "I'm sorry" he said in a groggy voice. A tear instantly rolled down my cheek as the guilt set in. I just shook my head in agreement and closed my eyes as I held Kylan.
A few hours had passed when I was awakened by little hands hitting my face, "Wake up mommy" James called out jokingly. I instantly hear the cutest laugh ever. Opening my eyes I saw Kylan's smiling face as he crawled on me attempting to kiss me. "I told you I'd be back for you baby! Mommy's here!" I said kissing him. James took Kylan and held him as he changed the tv channel, I rolled over in bed and propped myself up against a pillow and looked up at James. "How long you been up?" I questioned. "Bout an hour, we just watched you sleep. You seem really tired" he replied. "Yeah, I am" I said simply.
