What is Home

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The vision of this perfect girl covered in blood ran through my mind as Reece's words replayed over and over. Her lifeless body laying at my feet. Her blood spatter covering the four walls of her bedroom. The bedroom that was filled with trophies of her accomplishments, every success she had. But somehow she still wasn't happy having everything she ever wanted.

I was frozen in my seat, staring blankly off into the distance as the world around me crumbled more than I ever thought possible. I was a fucking tornado.

"Get out of my house!" I heard screaming in my ear but it sounded so far away. I could feel the heated breath against my skin. "Fucking go away!" The words he spit were full of hatred. He had every reason to hate me.

I pushed my chair out slowly forgetting the throbbing pain in my foot as the words circled my brain. I took a step leaving my crutches at my feet. I deserved every bit of pain with every step I took on the foot I had destroyed not even twenty-four hours ago.

I felt tearing the more I walked. Everything was numbed to my core, the pain didn't even exist anymore.

My hand grabbed the knob to the front door. I looked back and all I could see was a blur of the madness I left behind as I stepped out.

My body moved on its own. I didn't know where it was headed. My feet just hit the pavement in at a constant pace with no stopping in sight. I stared at the black surface where my foot was leaving wet marks of blood behind. I passed the house that started all this drama. A red car that I had learned the inside of sat there surrounded by bags of garbage from the disaster left behind.

Blond hair appeared above the top of the car as my eyes focused on the house that left me shattered. "Charlee," I heard causing my eyes to drift to meet the face of the boy who left me waiting for him. "Can we talk? Please." His tall figure rounded his car to meet me who had stopped the steady pace I had set for myself.

I pointed to the ground, showing the blood pooling around my foot all over again. "Now's not the best time." I don't even know how words even left my mouth because I was so out of focus.

"What the hell Charlee?" He grabbed me and moved me to the curb lining his driveway, pulling my foot into his lap.

"She killed herself." The words left my mouth emotionless, numb.

"Who killed herself? What are you talking about Charlee girl?" His hands wrapped tightly around my foot, not allowing any more blood to escape my foot.

"Reece's real sister. She killed herself." I stared off into space as I spoke. My mind wasn't even processing what was happening. "She's the lucky one here. She's not trapped anymore. I wish I had the balls she did. I could end it all right here." I felt a frog fill my throat as the tears began to fall from my eyes. "All the pain would end for everyone. Ally and Pierce could go back to normal. My siblings would have everything they ever needed. You could have a girl who would actually be able to love you. This town would go back to being peaceful." My head dropped onto his shoulder. "I would be happy, finally."

"You wouldn't be happy Charlee you'd be gone. Don't you dare ever say those words again." His hands dropped my foot and cupped my face leaving prints of my blood on my face.

"Exactly. Gone what I should have been from the moment I was born." I tried to shake my head from his hands but he didn't allow it. He made my eyes focus on him.

"Stop it Charlee." Anger began to rise in his voice as he spoke at me. "Get those fucking thoughts out of your fucking head. This isn't some fucking joke." As I stared into his eyes I saw a field of pain rush through them.

"You loved her didn't you?"

"What?" The anger left him completely.

"Reece's sister. You loved her. I can see it. You really, really loved her." I felt my heart physically breaking into thousands of pieces as this boy unraveled in front of me, every time the love of his life was spoken about. "Your eyes." I reached up running my thumb along his cheek bone. "I can see the pain."

I pushed my lips against his softly moving my other hand to cradle his face. He parted the kiss pressing his forehead against mine.

"That's why you act so happy, so positive." My eyes bore their way to his soul. "You want to stop this from happening to anyone else. You don't want anyone to feel the pain you feel." He pushed his lips back into mine wanting me to stop talking. My tongue grazed against his lip. He parted his lips letting my tongue move against his.

The taste of salt filled my mouth as our lips parted. The mixture of our tears had met at our lips. "But why did you want to hurt me?" I focused on a spot behind Grayson not wanting to meet his gaze.

"Because you love him." He was quick to answer.

"I don't love anyone."

"I looked at Emery the way you look at Pierce Charlee. I know what love looks like. I wanted you to look at me the way you looked at him. You walked into this school and instantly had that glow in your eyes. I don't know how you could already have that look but you did." He sniffled as he spoke. Pierce had always said I lit up the moment I saw him.

"Pierce loves Ally." Grayson shook his head but didn't say a word. "He does." Grayson replied with another shake of his head.

"He doesn't look at her the way he looks at you. He doesn't look at her like I looked at Emmy. He cheated on Ally with you. If he loved her he wouldn't have done that."

"He didn't cheat on her." I said coldly.

"So he just screamed at my sister last night telling lies?" I furrowed my brows at his question. "Why would he do that?"

"Because she was naked in front of a bunch of other guys? I don't know Grayson!" My words came out harsher than I planned them too. "Why did you sleep with two girls while trying to pursue me?"

"One girl." He corrected me. "To get you jealous. Because I wanted you to want me. It worked didn't it? It got you into my bedroom. It got you to share a piece of you that you hide every day. You cover up your past when your past has made you into the fucking beautiful, absolutely fucking beautiful girl you are." He was fighting for me to fight for him. "Those fucking scars don't matter Charlee. The past doesn't matter anymore. You are safe here from everyone but yourself! I'm not going to let you just do what she did. I will sleep beside you every night if I have to. I will be your fucking puppy dog if I have to. I will be there every second of every day to keep you safe Charlee."

"Grayson." His name left my mouth in more of a cry than I wanted it to.

"I don't care if you love him more than me. I don't fucking care Charlee. I just want you to-" He shook his head looking away from me not finishing his statement.

I lifted my finger to his cheek pushing his face to look back at mine. "Want me to what?"

"Want me. I know I sound selfish because I know you will never want me. Not after all I've done to fuck everything up. Not with Pierce around." I kissed him a few times on the lips as I wrapped my arms around him for comfort.

"Give me a chance?" I said, letting out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in.