What is Home

Chapter Sixty-Two

"The last and final performer is my sister, Casey Bradbury." Pierce gestured his hand out to his sister, showing her off like a prized possession. Gasps sounded from the crowd and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I coughed, breaking up the gasps, trying to get air into my body but nothing seemed to work.

"Settle down, settle down." Pierce shook his hand trying to shush the crowd. His eyes looked at me, the fucking wreck I was, in front of him. "Let's listen to her sing and then there will be an explanation. I promise. She is incredible."

I felt the food I had eaten for lunch rising up my throat. I held my hand over my mouth as her voice took over the speakers.

"Hi, most of you know me as Mrs. Bradbury, the school nurse." She took a deep breath, letting the weight of the world drip off her. How could she keep this from me? "Today I'm going to be singing, so here goes nothing." She looked off stage for a few quick seconds before the music began.

Her voice was elegant. Pitch perfect really. She painted a picture with the emotion in every word that left her mouth. The sound of her voice brought the air back into my lungs. But my mind kept running over why now. Why was Pierce finally opening up about his sister? What was going on?

Her voice quieted and so did the music. The drying of my mouth took over again. The beating in my head and chest returned. My head spinning in circles flooded over me as Pierce retook the stage with his sister.

"Give it up for Casey everyone!" He didn't even have to encourage the crowd because they were already praising his sister. I looked over at Ally who was shooting daggers from her eyes at the boy she thought she knew. A boy who was hiding too many secrets to even begin to count. Before I could get lost in the blonde girl who was crumbling before me in a way only I thought I could make her crumble, Casey's voice sounded over the speakers, pulling my attention back to the two on stage.

"So," she began, "there is a lot that Pierce wants to share with you. He's been trying to do this since he's arrived, but he's been scared. He hid his past because he doesn't want pity from any of you." Casey hand reached out to grab her brother's, whose were clearly shaking from the fear he had. "After trying to convince him for months to open up, something else just occurred in our lives that has pushed him to open up. It's now or never." She looked at her brother who was doing everything he could to stay calm.

"Um," His eyes locked with mine, trying to find comfort in the only person who could ground him. "Where do I begin?" His free hand reached up to rub the back of his neck. "So as I said this is my sister. My biological sister." His eyes broke from mine for just a few seconds to look at the girl next to him. "She recently got married. I missed it because I was too selfish to go. I act like I'm some perfect person but I'm really a mess." The words leaving his mouth had tears brimming my eyes. "This time, with the next big step in her life, I didn't want to miss out. I was involved every step of the way. She's been trying for years to get pregnant with her, now, husband." He tried to search my face for emotion, but I honestly didn't even know how to portray what I was feeling. "Honestly, after trying for so long you begin to look into other options. That's where I begin to get involved." He cleared his throat.

"Before I arrived here at Lincoln High, I was in a group home after pushing all my family away to the point where it's the only place I could go." No "I met my best friend there. A girl that filled all the pain filled holes in me from my past with a light. How could a girl that was broken herself, so dark, fill me with a light? I honestly can't answer that question myself." I couldn't look away despite wanting to. I wanted to stop him from spilling our secrets but I was frozen.

"She had this roommate who was," he searched for a word other than bitch, "one of a kind is the nicest way to put it. We did everything we could to make this girl mad. It's how I began to fall in love with this girl who I knew one day I'd end up losing. I just thought she'd be the one who'd leave first. She was better than I was in every way. Her smile always shined brighter than mine, her body always had this glow that could make anyone feel," he searched for the right word again, "alive."

The boy sat next to me was clenching his fist, listening to his sister's boyfriend talk about another girl this way. I don't know if he knew it was me or not. I couldn't look at him to even get a judge of what he thought.

"She opened up to me, and honestly, only me. She wouldn't talk to another person, but neither would I. So when I got called away from my light to be told that a family wanted me, I didn't understand. How could they want me and not her? She deserved a better life than the one she was given, then living in that group home full of people that didn't care about her. How could I be the one to break this girl who was already broken?" Pierce shook his head fighting off the tears. I knew he was picturing me on the floor, crying my eyes out after I was given the news.

"She was supposed to break me. I deserved to be broken. But that wasn't the case and I just left her alone. I came here and started my new life with all of you. I would lay in bed when I first got here thinking about her. Thinking about how she went from having a family, four brothers and sisters, to having nothing, to having me, to having nothing again."

He's never opened up fully to me about what he really went through when he left me, when he was told he had to leave me. Here he was doing it in front of the entire school. I felt so small.

"Then she came here. She found a family. I guess, more like a family found her." I could feel the eyes of the people sat next to me, my friends, staring at me. "But I had already created a new life without her. I didn't need her. But her brother is my best friend. I couldn't avoid her."

I dropped to the floor getting out of his gaze, trying to hide myself from the eyes of everyone. I didn't want to exist. I knew that everyone in this entire high school knew Pierce Hudson was talking about Charlee Baker.

"I still loved her. God do I love her." The words sliced through me. "But I love Ally too." And the knife sliced through deeper. "I couldn't give up everything I built in this new life because my old life was colliding with my new one. No matter how hard I tried to fight my love for this damn girl from my past, I couldn't help myself. I told myself one last kiss, one last touch and I could give her up. I was mistaken when one turned into many. I'm sorry Ally." I picked myself up from the ground and started for the door as our secrets spilled from his mouth.

"Charlee wait!" His voice rang through my ears halting me halfway on my run to the door. The lump in my throat left me breathless as I turned to meet his eyes again. "There is a point to this I promise." His voice faltered for the first time, cracking in pain. I took a step towards him not being able to stop the pull this boy had on me.

"Charlee, you got two of your siblings back." His words pulled me closer to him. "And I spent hours searching for Ryatt and Ryder. I knew how much having them back into your life would help mend some of the pain I gave you for always choosing Ally over you."

My body was pressed against the edge of the stage as the talks over Ryatt and Ryder left his mouth. He knew every single word to say and how to say it.

"When my sister couldn't get pregnant I suggested that if I found them, that maybe, she could adopt Ryatt and Ryder. I found them Charlee Baker." My eyes shot backstage. Tears were stinging my eyes at the thought of having my Ryatt and Ryder in my arms again, safe and sound. 

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I feel like no one read's the last chapter of this book but incase you didn't know, this is just the end of book one. Book two is up on my page. If you want to check it out, the sequel is called This is Home. Both books are paired together in a reading list to make it easier for everyone to find. So enjoy.

much love