Jesse's Girl

Chapter 38

     Knock.

     I looked up.

     Knock, knock.

     The door cracked open. My dad's head appeared through the gap, and when he saw me sitting cross legged on my bed, he opened it a bit wider to stand against the frame. "How're you feeling?" he asked.

     I cleared my throat. "Better, I think."

     "Enough to go back?"

     "Mm," I grunted.

     He chuckled.

     I'd caught a cold that day. The rain had started up not long after he'd left, and as I stood there staring after his Camaro, I couldn't really find it in me to move when it started pouring around me. My hood offered some protection, but when I could finally feel my feet, I still had to retrace my steps back to the bleachers. Kale and Farrah had left, but my bag remained on the ground.

     The walk back to my car felt like it'd taken an eternity. And with the rain pelting down, it somehow felt like it was the world's way of throwing rocks at me.

     It'd been four days since then.

     "You're gonna have to go back someday, kid."

     I knew that. Even though I'd spent the entire weekend sick in bed, I'd still been out of school for the remaining two. My homework from my suspension as well as some assignments my mother had been kind enough to retrieve for me lay on the sheets before me, completed.

     Never mind that, I did feel better. I could breathe through both nostrils now and my chest didn't feel like matches striking whenever I coughed.

     But it was easier sitting within the walls of my room rather than thinking about what I'd face once I went back—or who I'd face.

     "You still have an hour to get ready," my dad said. He began slowly closing the door behind him. "You can stay as long as you want, but you really should go. Get it out of the way."

     It wasn't really possible to just get five days of school "out of the way," but I understood what he meant. His gaze held mine, and he gave a reassuring smile before the door shut.

     My knuckle dug into the skin of my jaw as I contemplated my choices.

     I could stay. My bedroom provided more than enough isolation, but the negative effects of that much social distancing left me alone with my thoughts too often. As the days went by, it was getting harder and harder to bottle up my emotions. But the upside? My dad's Twinkies hidden under my bed.

     Or, I could go. Face the music. Odds in one, it would go by like any other day. No one had been at school to witness what had happened, so gossip shouldn't drift in and out of the halls as my video with Farrah had. The downside though, of course, was seeing him.

     I closed my eyes and fell back onto my pillows.

     Knock, knock.

     My eyes went to the door.

     I expected to see my dad again when it opened, but when my mom's face appeared instead, I sat back up.

     I hadn't seen her a lot during my recovery. In fact, I hadn't really seen her at all since I'd come home the day I disappeared. I'd assumed she hadn't entirely forgiven me as easily as my father did, and while it might've been a little true, I knew there was no reason to feel so cautious around her. Even so, it was still a bit jarring to face her.