A$$ is Grass

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"Computer!"
"What?!"
"Have you seen Dib all day?"
"Nope. Cameras show no sign of Dib being home. I believe his dad let him go train today since he didn't do training yesterday."
"Do you have any idea why he would leave like he did?"
"I do not, Blue Cheese."
"Can it! Gir!"
"Wee! Yes?"
"Calm down. Do you know why Dib is acting weird?"
"No. All he said was to not tell anyone that he was going home. He obviously wanted to be left alone. He will not respond to anyone."
"I want to know why he is acting so annoying. I demand to know and if anyone here knows why, they must tell me!"
"Nobody knows why he's acting like this."
"His dad might."
"Gir! Explaination!"
"You don't have to shout."
"Right. But I'm angry right now and worried!"
"well, he was fine up until he had that private meeting with his dad. Remember? He might have been mildly annoyed at finding you and Tak battling in metal suits, but he was still able to smile as we all went into the meeting. Then you all were called away and you didn't see Dib for the rest of night."
"Computer!"
"What?!"
"Was Dib out yesterday?"
"Yes."
"What time did he get home?"
"Shortly after six."
"And we were sent to the weapons room around five forty, correct, Gir?"
"Right. Oh... my cake is done. To the kitchen!!! Weeee!"
I wish I could figure out where all that energy is coming from. Arg!
"Pull up the video footage of him yesterday, Computer."
"If it will get you to shut up."
It's been a rough day without Dib around at school. Tak wasn't at school today for obvious reasons. She's apparently going through her mating season thing. But I don't think her's will last that long like mine did. She has very little to develope.
"Got the footage. It has some audio. But he was silent most of the time that he was out there."
"Play it... please."
"Yes, sir."
as soon as the video started, I could see Dib mumbling to himself as he came in the the backyard.
"Of course dad chained up the shed! One... Two... Three!"
Whoa.
I felt my antennae press against my skull at seeing like that.
Dib is not one for this much anger. He get's mad and upset, but not like this.
"Agent 234. What's the exact height, weight and mass of Clarence?"
Hmm?
"I'm not one you want to fight with right now, bud! Give me what I need!... uh-huh... alright... awesome... No! Bye!"
He's never yelled an an agent before. This could be why agent 234 looked so confused last night. He left for a minute and then came back looking more negative than before.
"Dammit! He took the fucking... Arg! I am not dealing with shit tonight! No baby back bitch of an alien is going to destroy my planet because of a fucking tantrum!"
He pulled out his instant transportation device and disappeared for a full three minutes and then he appeared with a black box. Recognized as the toolbox his dad gave him for that one holiday in that one month. That gift holiday thing with the colors and the fat guy.
"Dammit!"
Dib walked away for a moment and disappeared. He seemed gone for a long time, but he came back, way calmer then when he left.
"Hmm... his hand is all wrapped up. Must have injured himself. He was moving fast. Mistakes can happen that way."
time ticked by and he slowly started building something. His father and his sister both tried to talk to him, but he shouted at them and shoved them away. Gaz didn't say a word when he told her to go away. I know that Gaz, the sister has much to say when it comes to her opinion or an event of some kind. So it must seem serious for her to leave with not so much as a single word.
When he was done, it looked like a giant slinging device thing. He looked angry, and yet happy. Somewhat like me.
"They won't see it coming. Specifically that little ass hat, Clarence."
"Wait what? Pause, computer."
"Pausing."
"What the glorpsnot did that rooper do to get Dib so angry?"
"He seems to react heavily and negatively when people talk to you in a rude way or negativily about you. Clarence must have done exactly that which triggered Dib."
"But he was fine until after we left. You know this."
"Well, his father might have showed him something that Clarence said about you or something. Or thought about you."
"I suppose that could be the issue. Should I do something for him or what?"
"To be honest, I don't know. You could go and get him flowers. Daisies are his favorite for some reason."
I really just want to see him. I like seeing him. And since this is somewhat of a stressful time, I kind of need to see him.
"Uh oh. Gir, come here."
"Coming! Wee!"
Why is this his new thing now? I hate his high pitched squeals.
Gir ran in with frosting like gunk all over his face and he looked from me to Computer.
"Yeah, computer?"
"Zim is upset. I do not know how to fix it."
"I know how to keep your mind occupied."
"How?"
"Hehe, be right back."
"Why must you sing sentences you impudent robot."
Dammit.
I moved to the couch and plopped down on it, face first.
It wasn't long, though when I heard a loud monkey screech and then something shattering.
"Kenny's back!"
"This is not the kind of thing that I wanted, Gir!"
"He will still keep you busy. Wee!"
Dammit. I guess I'll just lay here until he's done making a mess and finds the stash of fruits I have.
"Ugh."
I wonder how Dib is doing? I am fairly worried for him. He won't even answer my-
"There is someone at the door."
"Door camera. Now!"
"Yes, sir."
Hmm? They covered the lense. Only one person even knows where the lense is.
I ran to the door and turned the knob. But the door flew open and there stood Dib.
"You look angry, human."
"Nope. Not angry. Come out here a second."
"Alright, human."
I rushed out, though, because Kenny noticed him and threw something.
"Okay, what is it, Dib'n'Dumb?"
Dib said nothing. Instead, he grabbed my hands and forced me up against the wall. I looked him in the eyes and for some reason, I froze at what I saw.
     He then pressed his lips against mine, getting so close, you wouldn't even be able to put a sheet of paper between us.
     He then let go of me as he stopped and backed away.
     "Just know that when this whole rooper bull is over, your ass is mine."
     Huh?
     Where is he going? Is he going home?
     I can't move now.
     I fell to my knees and sat there staring straight ahead.
     "I don't know... wh-what?"
     "Indicators show your hormones are off the charts."
     "I know! And he knows what he did."
     "And you know what's next."
     "Computer. Beethoven. Track three."
     "Yes sir."
     Aaaaaahh!!

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