what happened to louisa xun

sixteen

lou had forgotten how antisocial she was, how damaged she was until she entered another party with her and fuckshit's arm intertwined. her heart sank again, the all too familiar feeling of dread and depression taking over again. none of these people cared about her well being, it was shown in the looks she got when she had isolated herself from big groups.

maybe she was on the spectrum, maybe she was just an introvert, but didn't enjoy any second she spent in this big house. fuckshit knew this, he simply snaked an arm around lou's waist and left a kiss on her cheek, keeping her close to him for the rest of the night. lou guessed angela was busy tonight.

the rest of her friends departed from fuckshit and lou, leaving the couple. the night would pose as a challenge, though, daniel was the exact opposite of louisa. he seemed to know everyone, boy or girl, and his cup was emptying fast.

"are you sure you want that?" the pretty boy gave lou a look.

"what do you mean? it's not a party without a drink."

"you're driving," lou's steely voice shook fuckshit out of his buzz. he set the cup down.

the air changed, louisa wanted to apologize for her tone, but she decided against it when daniel muttered something and switched his alcoholic beverage for a pop. he kept his arm around her, his grip looser than it was and his tone changed when he spoke to other people. thirty minutes had passed without incident, fuckshit had one more cup of hennessy and switched back to sprite.

"who have you been with?" the light skinned boy poked lou's shoulder to let her know he was talking to her. "you disappear for a couple weeks and then pop back up with hickeys and shit on your neck? who is he?"

"what are you talking about, daniel?" the mixed girl raised her eyebrow and shook her head disapprovingly.

"you know what the fuck i'm talking about, louisa," a trace of annoyance and hurt laced his voice. fuck. "who is he? do i know him?"

"it's not a guy."

"oh, so you're gay now?"

"i'm not gay, daniel, who the fuck do you think you are?" she raised her voice slightly so he'd know she was beginning to get into the early stages of anger, but not enough that the people surrounding them would be aware of their altercation.

"the guy you've been fucking for two fucking years- you know what," he grabbed louisa by her arm and led her out the front door and down the street to his truck.

"you're gonna leave your friends?" she poked at his emotions with a mean tone. they both got in the truck.

"you're mine, louisa, you should fucking know that by now."

"oh, i'm yours but you're not mine? you've been fucking angela behind my back, in my face, and while i was locked in a fucking house with a child molester! did you think about me when i was missing and you were fucking her, daniel?"

"it wasn't like that and you know it, lou."

"what about when my dad hit me and threw me down the fucking stairs and i pulled up to motor looking for you and you were once again fucking her, huh? what about the winter dance when i walked in on you two making out and ended up getting fucking kidnapped?"

"shut the fuck up!" his voice boomed over hers, she sat back in the passenger seat, crossing her arms and huffing.

"you know i'm right. i have every right to be angry."

"and look at you, doing the same thing. you're a fucking hypocrite."

"look at me? look at you! fucking look at you! you're an alcoholic and a bitch! you're a bitch and a fucking cheater and a million other shitty things that i can't even name! why did you bring me here? we haven't spoken since i beat your bitch's ass in her living room! what happened to that?"

they both sat back in their seats, faces red. fuckshit attempted to open his mouth and speak, but his voice was cut off by a quiet sob. alcoholic, that word had a different meaning coming out of louisa's mouth. was he an alcoholic? yeah, he liked to drink, but who didn't?

louisa reached out with one hand and awkwardly pet his hair, sighing when he put his head down on the armrest and began to cry. she lifted his head to climb over the armrest and into his lap, straddling him and letting him cry into her shoulder.

"i shouldn't have said that, i'm sorry," she ran her hands through his hair and shushed him. his arms went around her waist, hugging her tighter and continuing to cry. "please, daniel, i'm sorry."

a couple minutes passed before he sniffed and lifted his head again, lou wiped his tears away with her thumbs.

"i still love you," he looked her in the eye when he spoke, trying to keep whatever droplet of trust louisa had for him. "this sounds like complete bullshit, i know, i've said this a million times but i mean it. i don't love her like i love you. her hugs don't mean as much as yours do, she doesn't kiss me like you do, fuck you even suck dick better!"

they both laughed at his comment, lou's hands going to his cheeks. she didn't have to say she loved him, he already knew.