Hunting Sunsets

Twenty Five

"So do you want to talk about what the fuck that just was?"

I looked up to my left at Troy Chang, towering over me at six foot two, the shortest man in our group of friends. My brother was a gigantic six foot four and Smith was a staggering six foot four. Male volleyball players were typically in that range, with the tallest capping out at over six-seven. It was mind boggling how tall they were. It made me feel like a midget whenever I was around them, and not in a cute way. It was aggravating as hell being the shortest of usual by an easy three inches and it got old extremely fast. I wore heals as much as I could around them, but even those couldn't save me from over a foot of height difference.

"What are you talking about?" I asked honestly, raising an eyebrow as we walked down the sunny sidewalk in the early December air.

"That was the most awkward lunch I've ever seen," Troy scoffed. "I might not be a genius but I notice things, and you and Smith have never been more cold to each other."

I pursued my lips as I thought of a response, looking at Troy with distain. "It's nothing, Troy. Don't worry about." I knew he wasn't buying it. My sneakers padded on the light grey sidewalk as we walked to class together, eyes watching the almost empty green at this time of day.

"You're the shittiest liar I've ever met." If that was true I wouldn't have lasted more than three months with my ex.

Or Smith for that matter.

It was probably best for everyone involved that I knew how to lie to Jake. Smith and I's situation would be a lot more complicated if I couldn't lie. Maybe in this case I didn't want to lie to Troy; I wanted someone to be there for me.

"That's not true, Siya's the worst liar you've ever met." The cool December air blew softly against my tennis windbreaker as it chilled my septum piercing. I liked the way the metal rested in the skin just above my lip. I had gotten after I left my ex because I wanted a change but now it just made me feel like a badass and I liked the way it looked. Soon enough that would end when I got a job, so I could enjoy it now. The same was probably true  for the tongue piercing that Smith had, and that was something I would definitely miss if we were still involved.

Smith was the only person I'd ever been with that had a tongue piercing and I found it sexy as hell. It always added something different to making out with him. But when he ate me out? It was an indescribable sensation that I would miss for the rest of my life. It was easy to forget he even had it sometimes until it was on your body making you moan in pleasure.

I had debated getting my nipples pierced for a while. I had always heard they made you more sensitive and I thought they were sexy as hell, but I had also heard the horror stories and it just felt like too much to deal with. That, and I was aggressive in bed and nipple piercings didn't seem like a good combo for that. At least in my mind.

Actually me entire body kind of repulsed at the thought to be honest.

"Yeah, but you're pretty damn close," Troy drawled. "So what's happening with you two?"

"It's nothing," I brushed off, pushing a lock of my strawberry hair behind my ear. "He's just being an idiot. Jade and I broke up because she was jealous of him and now he's being ridiculous about it," I lied through my teeth.

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks I shouldn't have broken up with her. That, and he feels guilty. But he's my friend I'd never leave him for someone else."

"I'm just offended she wasn't jealous of me," Troy scoffed in mock offense. "I'm the sexier Asian in this group, not him. Smith's a fuck boy and I'm quality Asian ass. There is no way Smith is the most attractive guy in our group. At all."

Okay, wrong. But sure.

"You're gay. Pretty sure she didn't see you as a threat. That, and I'm related to the other one."

"Sounds like excuses to me," the statistician said pompously. "But in all seriousness," he sobered up. "Just talk it out with Smity because you can't keep doing this. Sooner or later other people will notice and they'll start problems that don't exist. Or worse, it will effect your friendship with him. Because let's face it, that guys your brother until you die. There's no world in which him and Jake are separable."

I felt like he was right, but there was no way to guarantee that. Jake could very easily turn in one or both of us if we fucked up enough. "They?" I questioned, hesitating on Troy's choice of words.

"Yes, they."

"Care to explain?"

"If you don't know them you've got some serious thinking to do," Troy said seriously as I grabbed his muscular forearm in an attempt o make him face me as I stopped walking. His dark eyes scanned my face as he continued to speak, brushing his shirt black hair back in his head. "Look around you, May. It's not my place to say."

And with that Troy Chang continued walking, turning to look at me over his shoulder and shouting back at my frustrated figure just a few feet away from him.

"Come on Svennson you can't fix anything with anyone if we don't make it to class first!"

I hated cryptic people. I really fucking did. Why couldn't Troy just fucking say what he wanted to say? I loved the guy but sometimes he was one of the most frustrating people I knew. He was my friend not Jakes, I thought. Then I realized that logic only worked maybe my freshman year. By now we were an intertwined group and I honestly couldn't tell you who was closest to who. In a group you usually have a clue who's best friends with who, there's always a favorite for everyone.

A dark part of me wanted to say Smith was my favorite but that wasn't true. Smith was the man I wanted not my best friend. Smith was the man I was in love with and couldn't admit it to. He was my brother's ride or die, not mine. And that was the problem. If push came to shove I honestly couldn't say who would go with who. Freshman year it would have been Jake and Smith versus the four of us but now I don't know. We were a conglomerates mess of loyalties and if something bad happened I think we would all fall apart at the seams.

I wanted to say Smith was mine, but I had shot him in the foot when his heart was in the line. It was my fault that he was being distant. I had done that.

Troy was right, I had to talk to Smith before this ripped us apart. I left Jade to save our friendship not destroy it.

I loved him and I couldn't let him go that easily.