Sapphire's Review Store 3.0

Review by Elysia: Welcome to Baker Street

Title: Welcome to Baker Street

Author: Nighttime-words

Reviewer: ScarredHeroes

Grammar + Punctuation: 2.5/5

Your utilisation of vocabulary, emulating Sherlock's eccentric usage of English and the whole description of the location impressed me throughly.

I had to look up a few words such as 'disconsolate' and 'corpulent' as I was not able to recollect while reading your book.

Using fancy words in the right meaning and formulating comprehensive sentences is good, but I suggest you don't often do it when it's not needed, considering only Sherlock uses such words and readers generally don't have time to dig into the meaning of the word.

A lot of scope of improvement in the appropriate tense utilisation, especially as you want your readers to focus on the drama and suspense rather than get irritated on the wrong uses of tense.

For example, Chapter 31- Your first line was to deliver a sense of shock, as in,

'When the police leave and take Giulia away, the room falls into an odd, muffled silence.'

Especially when it's the first line of your chapter, refrain from making extremely noticeable mistakes.

Writing Style: 3.5/5

In context of describing Sherlock's actions, you've done an excellent job.

But for the others, it's formidable. For example,

'"Sorry, I am sure he didn't mean to sound rude." John steps in again and scowls at his friend.'

In some situations, its imperative for your other important characters to show much more than a scowl or a smile. Maybe some facial expressions like his eyebrows twitching in displeasure or some other pet peeves.

Speaking of pet peeves, it would be more nice if you could into more deeply into some 'tell-tale' signs that your character's do when they're in distress, or anger.

It would also be more helpful if you would plunge into your story a little more clearly, for example when Sherlock reveals his clues and pieces them together, make him explain it a little more , because at some points, I had to go back and read a chapter.

But your story pace is good and kept me on my toes. I loved your writing style as you've managed to dominate your style of writing rather than adapting the style the series had depicted.

Characterisation: 4/5

Giulia impressed me the moment you introduced her. She easily puts Sherlock's brilliance to shame and the secret talents she contains that slowly unravels, is astonishing and fun to read.

I was thoroughly impressed by your character arc, you grasped Sherlock's aesthetic in such an immaculate matter, it astounds me a lot.

I love how you've portrayed Giulia to be as smart as Sherlock but also relatable to other average humans by allowing her to be foolish at times. It's refreshing to read such relatable characters. You've also done an excellent job is describing Watson's humanity and discreet sense of humour that made me chuckle.

Your villains/criminals are the most impressive. This is what made me to stick towards your book, the way you hand your villains-motive, murder weapon and way of murder.

As I mentioned earlier, pet peeves, tell-tale traits, bad/good habits and getting the reader to know your character's even more personal is very important.

One thing I would advise you is that have some more interaction sequences of Sherlock, Watson and Giulia with the criminals, and more close to death encounters that would make people sit at the edge and bite their nails in anticipation.

Plot + Originality: 4/5

Although Sherlock is not your own character and is the main aspect of your story, with the help of your own strong characters and scenes, you've managed to bring a valuable fan fiction and not some parody of the series and movie. I'm throughly impressed by your unique and intelligent ways of creating melodramatic situations.

With much improvement in some aspects regarding the story, this would be a good polished fan fiction anyone would love to read!