25. strengths and quests

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"We're out of Dettol," announced Sunanda, entering the room where Suman was resting with Madhu hovering over her bed

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"We're out of Dettol," announced Sunanda, entering the room where Suman was resting with Madhu hovering over her bed.

"There's some in Nakul's spare kit, under the charpoy in the room next to the cow shed."

"Okay." Pausing before going to said room, she asked Madhu. "Where is he anyway?"

"In the workshop. Would you call him too, please?"

"Don't, no," said Suman, her voice cracking from the effort. "You don't have to disturb him."

"I think he'd want to be disturbed." Madhulika's tone was gentle yet firm, leaving no room for argument. She had already listened to Suman once before, agreeing to keep Nakul in the dark about the true extent of Raju's abusive behaviour. And that did not turn out well.

Sunanda left when there was no further protest.

Madhu resumed cleaning her wounds with cotton soaked in water until the antiseptic could arrive. Suman didn't let out a single wince, sitting so still that if it wasn't for her eyes wide open, Madhu would've assumed her dead.

"Don't worry about Nakul," Madhu told her, breaking the tense silence. "He'll understand."

"He would hate me for hiding this for so long." There was a defeated quality in her voice, a quality which hit Madhu like a punch straight to her lungs, sucking the air out and leaving a void behind.

"Why didn't you tell us you were coming back?"

"My parents had already turned me out after I overstayed my welcome. It's not proper for a married woman to stay in her father's home for so long, they told me to apologise to him, fix my family. I don't blame them." She swallowed. "They have five mouths to feed without us. And I couldn't bear the thought of being a burden on you too."

"How could you be a burden on your family? You consider him your brother, right?"

"I'm sorry I didn't--I wasn't thinking straight. I just needed my jewellery back; it was still in our--his-­­-house. I thought I could sell it and...and go somewhere else and...he didn't like that. Wouldn't let me have it, nearly threw the safe at Kavita, his own daughter."

Madhu pulled her in an embrace when her body started shaking with sobs, rubbing her back and whispering reassurances, most of which sounded empty to her own ears. She wanted to offer help but didn't want to offend her pride either. She was the same woman who had returned to the marketplace a day after her delivery, had refused all offers of help until she was left with no other choice.

"Kavita needs to eat," she said eventually, pulling away from the hug and falling back on her pillows. "I fed Vinita but Kavita hasn't had a meal since yesterday morning."

"Have you?"

"I'm not hungry-"

"I'll get something." Madhu got up. "And the girls are with Champa, trust me no one leaves her kitchen with an empty stomach."

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