Within The Bonds

12: Dinner Drama

After Xavier finished explaining the entire story to them, making sure he did not leave out a single detail. From the moment I entered his study to the moment I got out everything was accounted for, which resulted in me receiving concerned, worried, and even disappointed ( when they heard I tried to lie to Xavier and Noah) looks.

"The name?" Owen's cold voice brought me out of my daze, I look up at him with frowned brows.

"Huh?" I ask confused, not knowing what he is going on about.

"The name of the guy, irmãzinha," this time it is Lorenzo to speak.

Like a flash of realization hit my brothers, reminding them that they had never asked for his name. They all look at me waiting for a response.

"I don't know," I say in a soft tone.

"What do you mean by I don't know! Stop lying to us," Jack's hash voice exclaimed.

They all give me a disapproving look, even Owen and Noah who I grew to like in this short span of time. This actually hurts.

"I'm not lying, he was a senior. The only reason I even knew he was a jock was that I used to see him on the field practicing with his team, the same time we used to practice with mine," I say trying to mask the hurt in my voice.

My first proper day here and it's already turning miserable.
They look reluctant to believe me, which just adds to my big pot of hurt.

'See this is what happens when you let your guard down, you get hurt ' I scold myself.

I then calm myself and putting on a blank face I excuse myself. As time passes I feel the time zone hitting me full force. I go up to my room and dive headfirst on my bed, cuddle up in my comforters and I'm out like a light.

_______________________________

I am brought out of my peaceful slumber by someone lightly shaking me awake. I just slapped the hand away and I'm about to return to my dreamland when the hand is back but this time firmer.

"Irmãzinha, its time to wake up. Dinner's almost ready," the voice I recognize as Jason's says in a soft yet stern tone.

I mumble something incoherent under my breath and proceed to drag myself out of my beloved bed, which is crying out for me to return.

Dragging myself behind Jason, we reach the dining room where everyone's already present. We all sit in the same order as lunch.

A plate with a large portion of steaming cheese pasta is placed in front of me. The sleep slowly vanishing at the sight of the mouth-watering food, but I soon lose my apatite when the event of the afternoon comes flooding back into my mind.

I take a few bites of the delicious pasta and play with the remaining. I have barely even touched my plate, by the time the others were done.

"Quit playing with your food and eat, Astoria" Mateo's stern voice rang.

"I'm full," I say looking up at him.

That's when I notice everyone's attention is back on me. Hating all the attention I sink in my seat in discomfort, which they choose to ignore or so I believe.

Everyone gives me a disapproving look and waits for me to finish my food. But stubborn that I am and moreover not feeling like eating, I don't show any signs of moving towards my plate.

"Astoria, do as you have been told or there will be consequences. You haven't eaten anything since lunch and I'm not letting you skip dinner," Xavier says, his voice void of any emotions as usual just like his expressions.

Mentally rolling my eyes at him, I still show no signs of moving.

'Why can't they understand that I'm not hungry!'

"That's it! Give me your phone and you're grounded for a week," Owen says his voice emotionless. Clenching his fist on the table, finally fed up with my behavior.

"You can have your phone back when you fix your attitude and learn to listen, " Xavier says in a firm tone.

This just caused me to distance myself from them even more. I go to my room without another word, grab my phone from my bedside table and head downstairs.

I spot Owen in the living room. I approach him and tap his shoulder gaining his attention. I lift his hand and place my phone in his palm. There is a slight look of shock on their faces but it's gone as fast as it came. I retire back to my room before anyone of them could say another word.

I am fine with the grounding, there isn't anywhere I can go anyways, as for my phone I didn't use it much too. I am more of a sporty kind of girl, a tomboy if you must and I barely have any friends who I can chat with.

The only people I could term as friends were my teammates back home. I'm glad that Xavier didn't forbid my tryouts as a punishment.

It is still too early for me to go back to bed because of the time zone. I decided to go back to my sketching while I have the time instead.

Once I'm done I looked at it, this sketch is all I ever wished for. A happy family sitting in the living room on a Sunday morning with not a care in the world. With all of them playing some board games and one of the brothers pulling his sister's ponytail.

I then realized that without actually knowing I subconsciously drew nine brothers and one sister. Something like our family only they were happy and united. Looking at the sketch I suddenly felt overwhelmed all over again, only this time I am in the comfort of my room.

Slowly a lone tear runs down my face. Alone and cold that's all I felt. After coming here I thought maybe just maybe I'll get the feel of what family love actually feels like. Mum was always to busy at work to pay attention to such a thing.

She was never present for anything, not for my first violin recital nor for my middle school prize distribution ceremony. I chuckled bitterly at the memory. I had worked so hard for it. I was given the award for the best student for that year, but when I told mum about it and asked her to come all she said was:

'It's not a big deal, awards ceremonies come and go. I can't take a day off for such patty things'

She was a caring mother, I never doubted her on that. I just wish she had given me some more of her time.

I still remember the day I was going to play my first match, my nerves were everywhere. All the other kids had either both or one of their parents present, except for me the oddball.

Over the years I grew used to it. I did become popular in high school but barely had any friends. Even those I did have were fake. They were my friends only because I was their team captain. People mostly wanted to become my friends to either become popular or they wanted my help in something.

Funny thing is I never even sat at those popular kids table at school even though I was more than welcome there. I use to spend almost all my lunch either in the library blasting music through my headphones or in the music room drowning myself in my own tune.

Going back to school after the break was the worst. Not because of waking up early in the morning, but because I would have to listen to my 'friends' and the cheerleader go on and on about all the fun trips they went on with their family or the different delicious meals their mum's prepared for them, etc...

As much as I hate to admit it I was jealous, not of them, but what they had. And when I heard that I had brothers, amongst all the other thoughts I was secretly happy that I got another chance to experience what has siblings felt like. What family felt like, but I guess I expected too much.

I didn't even realize when I starting crying. I let the silent tears run down my face. I didn't even get a chance to mourn my mother's death properly, I had yet to plan a funeral for her. Everything is just happening so fast.

Just today morning they all were so kind and loving towards me and now so distant. It's like the brothers I was with this morning and the brothers I was with now are totally different people.

It felt good to finally let out all these build up emotions. My chest feels much lighter now. I just out of my place when suddenly there was a knock on my door.