Oblivious~Changlix✔

14

A/N:This chapter contains self harm, so if that is triggering to you, I suggest skipping this chapter.

Felix' P.O.V

I woke up feeling really depressed. Bad thoughts kept circling through my head. I wasn't good enough to be part of the group. Changbin didn't care about me. Woojin left because of me. I didn't deserve any affection. My family was better off with me gone.

I walked into the bathroom and bent over the sink, gripping the edge tightly. I bent down and splashed my face with cold water, trying to wake myself up. I looked up into the mirror and was repulsed by what I saw peering back at me.

I had bags under my eyes and I was having a break out. As I looked at myself, I began to cry. I tried to stay quiet and I was somewhat successful, because no one came to check on me.

⚠️Self Harm Warning⚠️

I opened the bathroom cabinet and moved aside a few things to grab the blade that I kept there. I put my arm over the sink, so that I wouldn't get blood everywhere. I dragged the blade along the inside of my forearm, wincing at the sting.

I used to be used to it, but it had been awhile since I self harmed. I continued, dragging the blade along my left arm 10 times and then doing the same to my right, one for each year of my pathetic life. My blood ran down my arms, and I twisted them, watching the watching the way it splattered against the white sink, dripping slowly into the drain.

My tears felt, mixing with the blood on my arms and joining the drops of blood in the sink. I watched it fall, starting to sob louder. I heard swift footsteps come closer, stopping at the door. "Yongbok, please let me in."

⚠️End Of Self Harm⚠️

The voice, belonging to Changbin, said, sounding slightly desperate.
He knew about my past, and he had some idea of what I was doing. "Please Bokkie!" He whisper yelled, his voice cracking in desperation.

I used my foot to unlock it, as it was one that unlocked when you pressed down the handle. He rushed in, his face contorted with worry. His eyes landed on my body and his face softened, his broad shoulders slumping sadly.

He rushed over to me, locking the door behind him. He carefully reached both his hands out, clasping each of my hands in his. He looked up at me with an expression so sad that it broke my heart.

I let out another loud sob and Changbin pulled me against his solid chest, not caring that my blood was getting all over him. I sobbed, burying my head in his neck, his familiar scent helping calm me down. His arms gripped me tightly, rubbing his hands up and down my back.

He whispered in my ear, "Bokkie, angel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should have been there for you. It's all my fault that I wasn't there. You deserve so much better, Yongbok."

We both stood there, sobbing in each other's arms. After who knows how long, Bin moved away, grabbing my shirt and removing it, being careful of my cuts. He then took off his own shirt, since it was now covered in my blood. Luckily we were both just wearing plain white shirts, and he threw them both in the hamper.

Bin picked me up, and placed me on the counter gently. He opened up the cabinet under the sink and pulled out the first aid kit. He pulled the small trash can over, carefully picking up the blood covered blade and tossing it in.

He reached behind me and grabbed a hand towel. He turned on the sink, wetting the towel and then lifting it to my arms. He carefully wiped the blood, and despite how gentle he was, it still hurt. He mumbled a sorry when I winced.