third: medicate

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Thank you @carolinenwigg for the graphic!


The next morning, I was sitting silently in Grayson's car, my stomach clenched in nervousness.

He drove us through the bustling city as I shut my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts. The plan was simple on paper. Gain her trust. Get into her house. Find evidence and get the fuck out of there as fast as I could. The only twist was if I blew my cover, it might be fatal depending on her desperation.

I leaned back, shuddering slightly.

"You okay?" Grayson gazed at me from the corner of his eyes. I tore my eyes away from him and nodded.

"Just tired."

"You come up with anything last night?" he asked, tilting his head adorably to the side. I sighed. I couldn't believe I was crushing on him. I had been for the last five years, ever since I had met him for the first time. At that time I had told myself it was simply a schoolboy crush. However, as I had transcended into adulthood, it seemed to be getting more and more out of hand. "Are you going to try to make her fall in love with you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? I don't think it's that easy."

He shrugged. "I'm sure you could do it."

"Do you mean I'm lovable?"

He smirked as my heart somersaulted. "You kind of are."

I stared at him. I wasn't sure what to think of his words. 

"Well last night...just found this really nice website," I murmured. I wasn't going to tell him how anxious I was. That wasn't what I was known for. I had to maintain my confidence. Even if it meant lying to everyone. I was a master in disguise anyway.

I leaned my head against the cold window as he sighed at my words. "What was it about?"


The corner of his mouth tugged upwards into a smirk. "The bird or organ?"

"Don't call it organ, you fucking prude," I groaned.

He chuckled softly as my heart fluttered. "I thought you were gay."

I squinted into the distance where the all too familiar, colossal white building of the city hospital was looming into view. "I don't really care. Pan. Bi. Whatever." I turned to look at him. "Also, who said gay men can't like tits?"

He laughed. "Well, I suppose-"

"Even straight cis women like them, Shelby," I shook my head. "United by tits. Divided by dicks."

He burst out laughing. I marvelled at the way his eyes twinkled when he laughed. The pleasant, soothing sound of his laughter tied my stomach into knots.

I gazed at him for a while before speaking. "You're straight,"

"Well," he spoke softly and I saw there was a slight pink tint to his face. "I suppose I don't know. I'm fucking twenty-eight and still get confused at times."

Hope. My heart hoped. I hated hope. It is merely a scam to manipulate the dreamers.

"You speak as if you're really old," I replied. He had been in the force a little longer than I had, although I still barely felt like I knew anything about him. 

He scoffed, "You're like twenty. Still riding your training wheels.

"Twenty-one," I corrected, "and I'm riding more than you ever will," I trudged on without thinking. "I grew up fast, Grayson Shelby. I didn't have the luxury of innocence."

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