HATING YOU

Chapter 17

Markus POV:

I can't believe I just came out. When the words came out of my mouth I was shocked to the core. After months of spending time with Hunter. I realised I never felt the way I did around anyone before. I was obsessed with his touch, his laugh and his kisses. I tried to push the feelings away but the more I did the stronger they got. For months I have been pushing it away but he was on top of me laughing while he tickled me to death. Something flashed in my mind. I liked him. It's crazy years and years of hating his guts and now I like him. 

I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the way he laughed at stupidest things, Maybe it was the way he whispered sweet things in my ear every night when he thought I was sleeping or Maybe I'm just a helpless idiot. Either way, I could not keep whatever we had going. Hunter does not do relationships. He never has and never will. If I ever told him I liked him he would make fun of me for the rest of our lives. It would be mortifying and everyone would find out I'm this big gay. I'm not even sure if I'm gay or only like Hunter. Maybe I'm bisexual or maybe... I don't know. I'm so confused. This another reason I need to stop seeing Hunter. I need to find out what I am first. 

When I walked into my room I already felt empty. Usually, at this time I would be over at Hunter's we made it a habit of every Sunday after church we would always hang out together. I decided to go to Abby room to annoy her or something. Just to get my mind off Hunter. 

I knocked on her door and she yelled at me to come in. She was lying on her bed with her computer. I think she was doing homework or trying to shut down Sea world I never know with her. 

"What's up, bro?"

"How do know you like someone like a lot?" 

"You just know. You like being around them, you feel comfortable around them, they make you laugh and you feel this electric feeling around them even by just looking into their eyes. When you are together it's like the world doesn't even exist" 

"oh," That was the only way I could reply. I don't know If I feel that way for Hunter. I mean, I always used to feel on edge whenever he entered the room. I more laugh at him than laugh with him and it's always like the world doesn't exist when we are together but it's always been like that even when we hated each other. Maybe I don't like him. Maybe It's because he is the first person I ever had a sexual relationship. Yeah, that's it. 

"Is this about Ella?" Abby grinned looking at me. 

"No, it was just a general question" I fixed my gazed at my fingers pulling them lightly

"Yeah, sure!" she laughed.

If only it was true. Life would be so much easier if I liked Ella. 

----

Things became extremely awkward with Hunter at school this week. Every time we would pass each other we would turn the opposite direction. Our friends looked at us in confusion when we would suddenly turn around and move away from each other to avoid contact. In classes even if sitting closely we would avoid eye-contact. Once I caught him looking my way and I swear it was like I saw him naked for the first time because he jumped once my eyes caught his. We both turned away frantically and my cheeks burned. 

The worst time was when we arrived at the same time to class and both our hands touched the doorknob. We both jumped at sudden impact and did not even dare to look at each other. Maggie was there and had looked between us curiously. I had heard her ask Hunter what that was about and he quickly told her it was nothing. 

It was Friday today and I was dreading Saturday. This is so stupid. I have known Hunter for years and now we can't even look at each other. This was ridiculous. So what if we ended whatever we had going on? It does not mean we can't be at least civil. At least. I mean I get weird to go to enemies to fuck buddies to friends but he needs to grow up and just look at me goddammit.