𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 | draco malfoy [5]

𝐗𝐗. NOT SO MERRY CHRISTMAS

CHAPTER TWENTY
NOT SO MERRY CHRISTMAS

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I had explained to Draco that I had to go home for Christmas due to safety reasons, but he understood. His father was making him return home, too, anyways.

Amidst all the worry and fear, I was quite happy to be back at Grimmauld Place for the holidays. I was with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, as well as the rest of the Weasleys, Sirius, Lupin, and the rest of the Order.

Harry and I entered the kitchen to find the Weasleys seated at the table with Hermione as Mrs. Weasley handed out gifts. My smile wavered when I Mr. Weasley's bloody bandages. But it returned when Mrs. Weasley hurried over to us with gifts.

"Harry, Giovanna! There you two are! Happy Christmas," She hugged us each.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," Harry grinned.

"Happy Christmas," I added, hugging her back.

We opened our gifts as Sirius stood in the doorway of the room, grinning down at us. I smiled and then turned back to Mr. Weasley, who was raising his glass.

"A toast! A Christmas toast!" He looked at Harry and I. "To Mr. and Miss. Harry and Giovanna Potter, without whom, I would not be here. Potters."

"Potters!" Everyone raised their glasses and I raised mine to Harry, him doing the same to me.

"Potters," Sirius added after everyone else. Harry and I laughed and hurried over to him, attacking him into a group hug.

I opened my eyes to see Lupin standing behind Sirius. I grinned even wider and escaped Sirius' hug to hug our former Professor.

"How are you, Giovanna? Alright?" He asked, hugging me back.

My smile fell a little and I pulled away, shaking my head. "Not really, no."

"Let's eat. We'll talk later," He told me, and I nodded, not wanting to spoil the cheery mood.

I told Harry, Ron, and Hermione I'd meet them upstairs, and the left while I hung back to talk to Lupin. Sirius stayed to listen as well.

"What's been bothering you?" Lupin asked.

"Not that rugged Malfoy boy, eh? If he's hurt you I'll have him-" Sirius began but I quickly laughed and shook my head.

"No, no, not Draco," my laughter died. "It's um, about these visions that I've been having. I know you both know about Harry's dreams, but these aren't like those dreams. In the dreams Harry is just there... but in my visions, Voldemort's talking to me."

"What's he saying?" Lupin asked carefully.

"He wants me to join him." I answered, my voice barely a whisper. "And that's not even the thing that worries me the most. What worries me is that, for a moment, I wanted to say yes."

I looked up at my father's old friends, scared. I shook my head, tears filling my eyes. "I don't want to join him. I don't want to be bad. But I'm so angry all the time, and I can't shake the feeling that I am. That I'm more bad than good, and that one day it'll overtake me, and- and-" I stopped, shaking my head again.

Sirius looked at Lupin before looking back at me. "Giovanna, listen to me. You are not a bad person. You are a good person which very bad things have happened to. Do you understand?"

I nodded a little.

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret," Lupin said, smiling a bit. "You are neither good nor bad. No one, not a single human being, is fully good or fully bad. That's just it. There is no good and bad. Each of us have a light, but also a darkness. And, yes, sometimes the light seems to be a bit... dimmer. But it's what you choose to do about it that matters."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"If you choose to give in to the dark and act on feelings of hatred, anger, sadness, jealousy... then you're as good as on Voldemort's side. But, if you act on happiness, hope, and love... you're staying true to yourself." Lupin exclaimed.

"But... so many people think I'm evil. Because of my past, or my House, or because of things I've said-"

Sirius laughed a little. "Telling jokes doesn't make you a bad person, Giovanna. I sure hope not, else James and I should've been locked up long ago." I laughed a little.

"And as for your House," Lupin added. "Being in Slytherin doesn't make you evil, Giovanna, against what everyone says. Slytherins are prideful and ambitious. But it's what you're ambitious about. As I said, if you want to follow through dark feelings, you'll do just that. If not, you won't."

I nodded a little, feeling a tad better about the situation then I had been. Sirius stood and opened his arms. I grinned and hugged him tightly.

"You know... when all this is over.. I think you and I could wreck some real havoc," Sirius grinned, and I smirked.

"Definitely." I nodded.

"Yes, well, I better go find Harry. I'm sure he's sulking about the same things you are. Better give him the same pep talk." I nodded, and Sirius left to find my brother.

Ginny appeared in the doorway. "Time to pack, Giovanna. We'll be back to Hogwarts soon." I nodded, said goodbye to Lupin, and followed Ginny back to our rooms.

"The ten high security prisoners in the earlier hours of yesterday evening did escape." Pansy read from the Daily Prophet the morning everyone was back from winter break. "And, of course, the Muggle Prime Minister has been alerted to the danger." Pansy scowled and looked up. "Who cares about the Muggles?" The other Slytherins laughed in agreement.

I pressed my lips together and looked away, saying nothing.

"We strongly suspect that the breakout was engineered by a man with personal experience in escaping from Azkaban. Notorious mass-murderer Sirius Black, cousin of escapee Bellatrix Lestrange." Pansy finished.

"Oh, codswallop!" I exclaimed, turning back to her. "They'll blame it on anyone to ignore the fact that it was V-" I stopped myself, and took a deep breath.

Pansy shrugged and went back to talking to Millicent Bulstrode and Daphne Greengrass. Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise were talking about something as well. I looked up at Draco, who turned away from the boys to look at me.

He nodded his head at the doors and I nodded. We stood and exited the Great Hall, walking the hallways together.

"Are you alright? I mean, after what happened before-"

"The dream?" I asked, and he nodded. "I... wasn't. But I've talked to some people and I feel a bit better about it now.

"I hated it, you know. Seeing you so... scared. Not that you shouldn't be scared, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just... you're always so brave. You aspire me to be brave, too. So when you're not... it's just very unsettling." Draco glanced down at me.

I smiled a little and sighed. "I'm not immortal, Draco. I'm not the same cocky, prideful first and second year I used to be. Who I am now, well... I've suffered more. Things aren't all snakes and rainbows anymore and I just-" I stopped and turned to him. "I'm scared. More scared than I've ever been. I'm so scared of loosing everything."

Draco wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. "It's okay, love. You won't. You'll always have one thing, that's for sure."

"What's that?"

"Love."