Prologue

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The ache I felt in my chest was almost unbearable as I stared at the seat in front of me. It took everything within me to keep the tears at bay. He had no idea how I felt, and that was my fault. I should have told him the truth; I should have explained it better. It had been real and I wanted him to know that. I grabbed my phone and opened my messages, but, like all the other times I had come close to telling him, I remembered the pain in his eyes. Pain that I had kept causing. I wanted him to be happy, which meant I had to keep my feelings to myself–the way he had done for all those years. He deserved to be happy, even if it was with Will and not me.

I pulled the chain from underneath my shirt. The name "Luke" was inscribed on one side of a dog tag while the other side said "And I want these words to make things right, but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life." I clutched it tightly for a moment then let go. I snapped a picture of myself on the plane and sent it to Luke. I didn't want him to worry about me and I wanted me smiling to be the last way he saw my face. I exited the messages between us and opened the ones from the recruiter I had been talking to. Infantry had a lot of open slots, which meant I would be able to ship out sooner, so that was what I had decided to sign up for.

It would be hard to let go of Luke, but I had to do it for him. He didn't need me ruining his life anymore. It was time for me to stay away and let him be happy.

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