Canyon Moon: The Making of the 2019 Album, Fine Line {H.S}

Just One Look

September 17th 2019

{ANNIE}

I've lost count of the days it's been since he went away. 

When summer ends, things get pretty quiet around here. The tourists leave, less people are out on the beach, and kids go back to school, so I don't have a lot of lessons anymore. That's why I loved summer, it's always so lively. 

This time doesn't feel the same. Summer died along with any hope I had left.

It's just a breakup, you'll be fine, I keep trying to convince myself. The thing is, though, it's not even a breakup. You were never really together in the first place. 

For a while, I was starting to get used to not being alone. I lived alone, but not really while he was around. I always joked that he practically lived at my house, but I liked it. It was nice having someone to wake up next to everyday. 

I have to stop thinking like that. I can't miss him, he screwed me over. He screwed Adam over. He left when I needed someone to rely on.

I try to turn my thoughts over to a new topic as a I sweep the floors of the cafe. We've closed for the night and Sam left hours ago, so it's just me. I used to enjoy having time like this to myself, but now, I hate it. I just can't turn my mind off even for a little bit.

I have my music on shuffle while I do this just to try to get my mind off of him. I avoided any sappy love songs and I've deleted all of his music that he wrote that I used to love. I guess that's a downside to dating a famous singer.

Then, a song came on that I must have forgotten to delete. And, of course, it's the worst one that could have played. Just One Look by Doris Troy. As cheesy as it is, it's our song. Or at least it was.

"What constellation is that?" I ask, pointing to a series of stars. Earlier, I asked him what his favorite songs are, so he insisted on driving out to the edge of the canyon to look at the stars and show me his playlist. I can hear Tommy's voice in the back of my head telling me that this is totally a date and I start to question it myself I really like him and I like spending time with him. We just get along really well and yeah, maybe it's a little flirty between us, but that doesn't mean this is a date, does it? 

"That would be Capricorn." He says, "And the one next to it is the little dipper." He points to a group of stars. We're both lying on the hood of the car with music playing from the inside. 

"Interesting." 

"Can I be honest about something?" He asks.

"Sure."

"I know nothing about constellations. I looked these all up earlier." He confessed and I laugh.

"I know. I could tell."

"How? I thought I was pretty convincing."

"I don't know what you looked up, but Capricorn isn't even visible in June. And that's not the little dipper." I turn my face to his. I didn't realize how close we were to each other. Damn, if I didn't know any better, I'd think it's a date.

"Damn, I actually thought I outsmarted you, but alas..." He jokes.

The next song comes on and it's actually one I know. Just One Look by Doris Troy.

"Man, I love this song." I say.

"You know this?"

"My parents played it at their wedding. It's one of my favorites."

We sit in silence for a second and then, all the sudden, he jumps up from his spot.

"Dance with me." He says.

"What?" 

"You heard me."

"I suck at dancing."

"So am I. Come on, then." He says and takes my hand. I take his left hand and place the other one on his shoulder. He snakes his right arm around my waist, which sends shiver up my spine.

"Just one look and I fell so hard, hard, haaaaard."  He sings very off pitch which makes me double over in laughter. He laughs with me. He honestly makes me laugh more than anyone I know.

As our laughter fades, the mood changes and pulls me a bit closer, tightening his grip around my waist. He's completely serious now and he's staring directly in my eyes, which makes my heart beat a little faster. I wonder if he can feel it. His 6 foot fram towers over my 5'3 one, but I feel safe.

His lips are just millimeters from mine when he whispers, "Annie?"

"Annie?" Someone's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and startles me, which makes me gasp.

"We're closed, I'm sor-" I say as I turn around, but instead of a stranger, I find a familiar pair of brown eyes. Noah. Not the green ones I was hoping to see that belong to someone else.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I want to talk." Noah says from across the room, "About us."

"Okay, this is coming completely out of the blue. I mean, what is there even to talk about? We broke up, end of story." I say and go back to sweeping.

"No, not end of story. Annie, being here with you made me think about everything." Noah pleads.

"About what? That you shouldn't have left a year ago?"

"Yes. And I wanna make it up to you."

"How? There's nothing you can do now, I've moved on." I say, "And I like how this is coming out right now, right after Harry leaves. What, do you want to rub salt in the wound a little more?"

"No, I just knew I couldn't say anything while he was here," He says and moves a little closer, "Annie, I wanted to say something when I got here in May, but I knew you guys were together and, I mean, how can I compete with that? With him?"

"Well, you both do have one thing in common, you're both fantastic at abandoning me when I need you most." I say as I sit down in a chair next to me. I can't take this standing up, I feel like I'm going to puke.

"I'm not leaving. Not ever again." He says, taking the chair next to me, "Annie, I know I fucked up. I knew it as soon as I left. But I'm here and I'm not leaving Solana again. I'm gonna work with Adam at the studio, I have a place downtown,  and I'm not gonna leave you again."

I want to tell him no. Everything in me wants to tell him to go away. But, part of me knows this is all I wanted to hear. 

"Okay." Is all I can muster out. By now, his face is inches from mine. When he places his hands around my neck and kisses me, I want to feel something. I don't. But, I don't have the strength in me to send him away. 

It is exactly what I wanted to hear. It's just not coming from the right person.