To Be Child of God [A Merome Story]

✧Chapter 1✧

So there I sat, sobbing into the sleeves of my best Sunday dress, in the middle of a vegetable field. My name had been called out. I knew I should have been expecting it, I was 18-years-old and most girls my age would be getting betrothed around this age, but I had asked for an extra year. I had been to the leaders to ask them to exclude me from the marriage considerations until I was 19, yet my name had been called out. I wasn't ready.

I had run from the church the moment we were allowed to leave, forcing my way out the back down and sprinting down the back gravel road with my long dress bashing around my ankles. Tears blurred my eyes. I didn't even know where I was going until I collapsed in the middle of a field of green beans.

Sobs quickly turned into hysterics, and it wasn't pretty. Snot dripped from nose, tears streamed down my face. My chest heaved with the effort, head now resting in my knees, dress probably covered in dirt as well.

But I had been groomed my whole life for this. As the oldest daughter I had spent most of my childhood raising my younger siblings, serving in the massive kitchen from age 10, watching everything my mother did, all in preparation for me to one day become a godly wife and mother. But I didn't want to become a wife, and I didn't want to become a mother. Something about me was... different, but I didn't know how to explain it.

I hadn't expected my saviour to come, and I certainly hadn't expected them to come right then, but it certainly gave me a fright when someone called out.

"Hey! Are you okay?" A voice called. "What're you doing out here?!"

I looked up, wiping my eyes, but they were already beside me before I could see properly. Then I was looking up into the face of a kindly young man, about my age, and I jumped back.

Oh, if I wasn't in trouble before, I was definitely in trouble now! I couldn't be seen with him! One of the rules that had been shoved down my throat since I had turned about 7 was that boys and girls should never interact without an adult present to mediate the conversation, at least until we were married.

"Woah, hey, it's okay, it's just me! You aren't in trouble, no one else is here." His voice was concerned and I managed to look up at him. He was kneeling beside me now, not touching me, but he was trying to calm me. I sniffled and wiped my eyes again, a little upset that I looked so disgusting in front of him.

I recognised him, I think, belonging to one of the dozens of families in the community, probably unrelated to me. And then it clicked- his name had been called out today too.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I managed to nod slowly.

"I'm okay." I hiccupped.

"Alright. I'm Jerome, what's your name?" He sat back on his haunches, distancing himself from me but still watching me with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Charity."

"Ahhh" A look of realization came over his face. "Your name was called today, wasn't it? Mine was too. Is that what you're upset about?"

I managed to nod again, another wave of tears overwhelming me as the true value of it hit me. In less than a year I would likely be married with a child on the way if they got what they wanted, but I didn't want it. I didn't want to get married, I didn't want to be the good wife and godly mother they all wanted me to be. My parents were expecting grandchildren, the leaders were expecting me to go along with it. Jerome held his hands out, hesitating because he knew he shouldn't touch me, but then gently leaned over and took my hand. It startled me out of my hysterics, finally switching back into reality. I stared at him, blinking.

"There we go." He sighed. "I know I shouldn't have done that, sorry."

"It's okay." I managed to whisper, shoulders shaking as I tried to calm myself. Breathe. I said internally, closing my eyes. Breathe, it's okay. He isn't judging you. "I'm okay now."