Shut Up, Padfoot!

24

My eyes flicker to the fluff ball in the air. It flutters several feet above my head and it slowly falls. Shivering, I pull my robes closer in on me.

"Miss Phoenix, are you paying attention?" Professor Mcgonagall called.

Without looking at her, I replied, "Yeah, of course."

"Doesn't seem like it. Eyes on the board, please," she urged.

The fluff ball's distance between the students and it shortened. If I stood and reached, I would be able to catch it. My eyes followed its small pattern.

"Mm," I hummed in response, completely distracted.

Sirius reached forward and pinched the skin at my hip lightly to grab my attention. I ignored it and stared at the fluff ball.

"Fawkes.. what's up?" he whispered.

I grew lightheaded, black dots lining my vision. I parted my lips to breathe in better. I knew the students' eyes were on me but I don't care.

The fluff ball changed paths as the draft picked up on it. It moved in the direction of the closed windows.

I swallowed harshly and my mouth dried. My body temperature dropped and my fingertips felt like they would fall off because of how cold they were.

"Miss Phoenix?" Professor called again.

I sniffled, the freezing of my body rapidly growing. My teeth chattered and I trembled in my seat.

"Fawkes, what's going on?" Padfoot asked, concerned.

He placed his hand on my neck, his whole palm embraced the side and his thumb settled on my jaw.

He flinched and retracted his hand quickly.

My gaze shot towards him and noticed him rubbing his fingers out. His fingers were red and raw and I recoiled at the thought that I hurt him.

"Your skin is on fire, Cry. What the hell?" he blurt.

"Did I- did I hurt you?" I stuttered.

His eyes widened and the worry filled his face. He shook his head. "No, no, I'm okay."

"Are you okay?" James questioned.

I looked over my shoulder and made eye contact with him. He sat upright in his chair and awaited my answer. Lily, who sat next to him, picked at her fingernail and watched with concern.

The sound of a chair scraping on the ground took my attention again. I whipped to my right and saw Remus getting up from his desk. He stood near my desk and reached out for me.

"No! No, don't touch me!" I exclaimed.

His hand froze and he let it drop immediately. His brows furrowed and he stopped advancing towards me.

Professor Mcgonagall stepped down from her desk and made her way down the aisle. Her robes billowed behind her and her steps grew louder the closer she came near me.

The sound of drums pounded in my ears. A lively beat fluttered back and forth between my ears and I knew what was coming next.

I flinched when a shock ran through my body. My hands slammed on the table in an attempt to stabilize myself. I heard sizzling brewing from underneath my palms.

The desk I had placed my hands at began to burn.

Quickly, I tore them away. Indentations of my handprints were deep in the wood. Heavy black and burnt mahogany seared in front of me. Smoke flared in the air and the scent of fire filled my senses.

"If- If anyone touches me, I'll kill you," I warned loudly.

Shooting from my seat, I stood. My feet shuffled back and I braced space between me and the students surrounding me.

My classmates stared at me with horror. All of them to their own feet and withholding their distance. Professor Mcgonagall inched towards me.

"Cry.. just calm down. Tell me what's going on," she said coolly.

My eyes found James'. He glanced to my hands and back to my face. Fear rose to his expression and my heart broke. He's scared of me.

"Someone get Pandora! Find her and tell her to come here," James shouted.

Widening my eyes, I shook my head. Tears formed on my waterline and the sight of her grandmother's hands go limp.. her hair falling in her face as the life left her eyes.. god..

"No no no. Leave her alone, James," I begged.

"She'll know what to do. If she doesn't, she'll figure it out. I don't give a fuck if she doesn't want to help," he refused.

I squeezed my eyes shut. The growing beat of drums overwhelmed my body. My knees gave out on me, pain shot up my legs as I fell to the floorboards.

"James, what do we do? I'm scared," Sirius whimpered.

"She's going to be fine. Peter, get Pandora for Merlin's sake!" James urged.

"Cry..." Lily breathed out.

The cuffs of my robes burned.

Fire enveloped the fabric and raced to eat away at my clothing, my mind went into a frenzy.

Am I going to burst into flames?

Right here, right now...

Will I die?

Do I have to accept that at this moment, I have spent every last bit of my life? Here, is my end? To roar with flames and burn to my own freezing death?

Will I pass out from the pain of a winter's icy day? Will my body freeze in my last moments but in contradiction, burn in the eyes of my loved ones?

My vision blurred. This is it. This is where I die.

My gaze fixed on Sirius. His hands trembled with new found blisters and I regret how I hurt him. Tears fell from his eyes and he has to watch me envelop in heat and when it's all over... smoke in the air.. I'll be gone.

Baby's a mess but who can blame him? A girl who came in his life dies in front of him. What an experience. Oh, to watch someone like me wither in the flames like it was lit up in a blizzard with no hopes of surviving the harsh winter. How horrifying to see.

The end..

My end.. is near.

-lana
but wait theres more