Harry Potter's Pen Pal

Chapter Ten

(Caution: Awesome Parent Alert)

"Well, now that we are all present-" Accountant Swordbreaker looked around at Albus Dumbledore, an unfamiliar man, Mrs. Weasley, Severus Snape, and Harry "-we can begin."

"We are missing a person," Harry interrupted, frowning.

"Sirius Lupin-Black is not allowed to be present, Harry," Swordbreaker replied, ignoring Dumbledore's surprised, then angry look. "Innocent though he is, the Ministry will not give permission for him to be present."

"What?" the unfamiliar man rasped, looking shocked. "Sirius is innocent?"

"The Minister won't let him come?" Harry asked icily. "Well, I'll deal with that later. Read the wills, Swordbreaker."

"Of course, Harry," Swordbreaker smirked. "I will begin with Mr. Potter's will." He cleared his throat and unrolled the scroll partially.

"The Last Will and Testament of James Fleamont Potter. I, James Fleamont Potter, having a sound and totally sane mind-" the unfamiliar man choked, looking grieved and amused, and Snape snorted "-well, maybe not that sane-" the unfamiliar man choked again "-but you get the point ⎯ write my will.

"In the event that my wife and I die, our son, Harry James Potter, will be given to Remus Lupin-Black and Sirius Lupin-Black. If the Ministry are buttheads-" the unfamiliar man choked for the third time "-and think Siri was the Secret Keeper and not let old Moony keep my son, then he will be given to Severus Snape."

Snape's jaw dropped, and Harry raised an eyebrow.

"If Snivellous refuses to take care of my son, he will be given to Andromeda Black. Under NO circumstances will he be given to Petunia Dursley!

"Those who will benefit from my death will be Harry James Potter, Remus Lupin-Black, Sirius Lupin-Black, Severus Snape, and Andromeda Black. Nothing will go to Dumbledore, so help me Merlin!

"All of my properties, vaults, and most of my money will go to my son, Harry James Potter.

"To Remus John Lupin-Black, I give 500,000,000 Galleons. Buy a wardrobe and raise my Harry right."

The unfamiliar man's eyes went wide with shock.

"To Sirius Orion Lupin-Black, I give 500,000,000 Galleons and the memory of Lily and I changing the Secret-Keeper to Peter Pettigrew, in case things go wrong ⎯ and with the Potter luck, something will go wrong. I also give Sirius the Potter Manor, so you don't have to raise Harry in your horrid childhood home.

"To Severus Snape, I give 3,000,000 Galleons and my potions things. I also give my heartfelt apologies. I was a complete idiot in school, a jealous one.

"To Andromeda Black, I give 4,000,000 Galleons. You can have it regardless if you have to raise my son or not.

"To Peter Pettigrew: if you don't betray us to dearest Voldikins-"

Swordbreaker was interrupted by the unfamiliar man bursting into loud, hysterical laughter and collapsing out of his chair. Harry chuckled, rolling his eyes. Mrs. Weasley looked disgusted, and Dumbledore was scowling. Snape's eyes had gone extremely wide.

"Mr. Lupin-Black, are you quite well?" Swordbreaker asked dryly, when the unfamiliar man calmed down a bit.

"Y-yes," Lupin-Black gasped, climbing back into his chair. "Sorry about that."

"That's quite all right," Swordbreaker smirked. He went back to the will.

"If you don't betray us to dearest Voldikins, you will be given 2,000,000 Galleons and one of the Potter cottages. If you do, I hope you die, you piece of crap. We trusted you!