His Heart's Desire

18

Alice

The next day went by as if nothing happened. I'd pass Nick in the hall and he wouldn't make eye contact. Brodie hasn't done anything... yet. Nelson stopped coming around when Gen was there. All these things felt normal. Tracy has been distant lately and I knew this was coming. Nothing was meant to last it was just a short period of time until they wanted to go back to their old tables. And what's even worse Mr. Micknealing had to cancel our appointment and I really needed to talk to him about the prescription. But I hope all is well with him.

I get to my locker and my phone beeps with a text. I look at it and see a message from Gen.

I won't be sitting by you at lunch today. I don't sit by disparaging tactless peculator.

It says with an eye roll emoji at the end. "What's going on," I whisper to myself. I don't really understand those words but it doesn't seem nice. I need to find her and see what's going on.

I shut my locker and turn around to start my search for Gen. just as I take a few feet away sharp cherry colored nails grip my arm.

"How could you?" I hear Tracy say sadly.

"What do you mean?" I ask bewildered.

Her sadness turns to anger. "Oh don't play coy with me. You stole my lucky bracelet and strawberry lip gloss. You could've just asked if you wanted to borrow them."

"W-what do you mean? I didn't-" I stammer embarrassingly fast.

"Now you're lying to me." She says sadly. "Alice I thought we were friends. Brodie showed proof of you taking them!" She says quite loudly and a group starts to form to watch the scene. My mouth drops open.

"That is not true. I would never steal!" I say and hate myself even more than I did before when my eyes fill with tears.

She shakes her head and pulls out her phone.

"Well, what you did or didn't do is worse for Gen anyways." You destroyed her robotics machine thing or whatever the hell she was crying about." Tracy says showing me a picture of the surely destroyed machine.

"I didn't do any of this," I whisper feeling the same ache I felt in my heart for years.

"Look, Alice. I don't know the full story but for now. Just... leave us alone." She tells me flatly then walks away leaving me in the middle of the newly formed circle.

I watch as the crowd parts for Tracy to leave and see a pair of angry cold eyes.

He was watching.

He saw the whole thing.

Why do I feel gutted knowing that he sees me as a stealing destroyer?

I bite my lip and grip the straps on my bag.

I need to get out of here.

I refuse to stop once I'm at the end of the hallway. Out of the school.

I keep walking until I'm in the parking lot.

"Alice stop." I hear a deep voice behind me. That voice that always stops me in my tracks and my heart for some reason.

But I keep walking. In fact, I pick up my pace.

~~

I sit down in the wet grass.

"Hey, Nana. I messed up... again." I whisper to her grave.

I came here four times already since I arrived at Jessie's.