His Heart's Desire

19

Nicholas

I can't believe I'm trapped with her. The one girl who drives me insane. The only girl I've never been able to get off my mind.

"Are there any more red ones?" She asks smacking her lips and I feel my pants tighten as my eyes narrow in on those pink plump lips of hers.

I hand the bag of candy back to her. "Just have the rest," I say and her big brown eyes look up at me.

"But you said we'd share. I mean it is your candy." She says.

"You already ate the rest." I laugh when she looks into the bag shocked. For the first time in a long time I smile and she just stares at me.

"What?"

"I've never seen you laugh. Or smile. Maybe I should eat your candy more often." She says and a lock of hair falls over her eyes from the wind. All I wanted to do was brush it away.

I push down my feelings. "Whatever. Anyways I called Nelson he should be here soon." I inform.

It's quiet as we sit in silence our backs pressing against the cold metal of the graveyard gate.

"Have you ever read The Darkest Shore?" She says and I try to hide my interest. Reading was my much-needed escape from my shitty life.

"No. And I don't want to," I tell her but she keeps talking.

"But its pretty good honestly you remind me of one of the characters. My favorite part is-"

"Look I said I didn't want to read your stupid book." I didn't like talking about myself. In fact, I hated it and this was barely scratching the surface of things I hate about myself.

She looks down at her hands and I feel bad. I never feel bad. Not for anyone.

"Just trying to make conversation." She mumbles.

"Well don't. It's bad enough I'm stuck here with you." I snap as the rain starts to sprinkle.

God, where is Nelson? He needs to hurry up.

As if she could read my mind she moves her delectable mouth again. "Maybe try calling someone else? I'm sure you can call your parents right? They'd come to help us?"

I feel that same pain in my heart at the mention of my parents. They have done countless horrible things to me. But I could never hate the two who put me in this world. No matter how badly I want them out. Every time they hit me. Every time they scream how stupid I am. How worthless. How they used to steal from me to buy drugs or alcohol. How they scare me. I want to hate them but I can't. So I turn that hatred to myself.

I feel a warmth on my tightly closed fist. I lift my head and meet her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Her thumb starts to caress my skin causing goosebumps to arise from her touch. I don't understand why she affects me so much. I don't want that.

I shake my head yes. But I'm not. Luckily she changed the subject. "Call Brodie? I know you're friends?" She says and the mention of Brodie makes me pissed all over again.

"No. He's useless." I say and a sadistic smile creeps its way to my lips when she doesn't disagree. If only she knows what he does.

"I found drugs in his room." She blurts out like it's some huge secret.

"So?" I question.

She looks relieved. Almost as if she's wanted to say that forever. "I found drugs in his room. I never told anyone because he threatens to expose me."