Chp. 22

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-RILEY’S POV-

I couldn’t believe it… she had read the note… she knew I was a lesbian… she knew the darkest secret I was keeping from her.

I mumbled, “Get out.”

Her eyes fell to the note, she stepped forward, but she wasn’t planning on leaving. “Why didn’t you tell me Riley… I thought we were friends! Friends tell each other shit like that!”

I hollered, feeling the tears rim my eyes, “Get the fuck out Jenson!”

She became enraged, grabbing my door that was in my hand and slamming it shut. “I’m not going anywhere Riley! Not until you explain to me why you didn’t tell me!”

I felt my heart speed up, I could feel Jenson’s feelings overlapping mine, she was pissed, naturally, but she wasn’t mad at me. Which shocked me more then anything. I threw my hands up in defeat, “She’s my ex girlfriend. What’s it to you? It’s the past Jenson… I haven’t talked to her in months.”

She shook her head, “That’s not the point Riley, I don’t care if you’re gay… I care because you didn’t even tell me, I had to snoop to find out!”

I stayed silent, there was nothing I could say, she was right, again, and I couldn’t argue with that. I should’ve told her, but the reason I didn’t…well, was because I liked her. She was yelling at me still, still mad that I had lied to her… when all I was wanting was for her to shut the hell up.

I just wanted to kiss her.

She was ranting, but she wasn’t planning on stopping, she didn’t even know I was tuning her out.

I rolled my eyes when she mentioned Jake and then, out of instinct, I grabbed her jacket, and pulled her into me. I kissed her, hard, but I didn’t force anything onto her. I just smashed her lips onto mine, and then her emotions faded, she was no longer mad, but she was confused… really confused.

She pulled away, looking up at me and tilting her head, it probably was going to bite me in the ass but… maybe I should just lay the entire truth on her.

She stepped back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and looking down, “Why’d you kiss me…?”

I shrugged, I wanted to tell her… should I? Should I just tell her I had a really big crush on her… that I was starting to actually fall in love? It was still soon to admit it was love, but I knew I liked her a lot… “Because Jenson.”

She snapped her head up, “Why?”

I scratched the back of my head, well it was all or nothing now, “Because Jenson, I like you, when I met you…” I was only ordered to protect you, “I thought you were gorgeous, you were different though… so different. I liked it, you let me into your private life… you felt so comfortable with me… you accepted me into your life…”

She had a hurt expression on her face, “So the only reason you befriended me was because you wanted to get with me?”

No, because I wanted to help you, I wanted to save you… I just started to love you along the way.

“No, you were a genuine person, you were cool… and you turned into my best friend…”

“But… I like Jake…”

I rolled my eyes, “Jake… Jake? Who was there for you when he totally ignored that girls phone call, obviously not him. He didn’t even try to explain himself… Remember Jenson, you kissed me to, and you wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t love me some how Jenson.”

She was debating inside her head, I could see it, and feel it. She was confused, but she knew I was right, I knew I was right. I knew Jenson loved me, she just didn’t know how she loved me… and I was going to help her figure it out.

I touched Jenson’s arm, “Jen…”

She stepped away from my touch, as if I burnt her, and looked up, “I don’t like you like that Riley…”

I shook my head. “Jenson… you know you do… it’s okay though, if you need time to figure it out, I’m here for you…”

She sat on my bed, as in disbelief, she didn’t want to believe it. I could feel her fighting her emotions, but she was trying to figure out how she felt about me. But every time she looked at me, she became… happy. I smiled, “Jenson… it’s okay you know, we can always try…”

She stayed still as my hand found her knee, then she became nervous, so I pulled away, trying not to overwhelm her. “Try what…?”

Her gray blue eyes found mine and I smiled warmly, her heart sped up, “Being together…”

“Riley… I don’t know…”

I stood, “Jenson… if you need time to figure it out… I’ll wait…”

She looked up at me, “You’ll wait for me?”

I nodded, I wanted her, I wanted her to love me… I just wanted someone to love me… and I knew she did. I could feel it, I could feel the way she felt about me… I just wanted her to accept it. “Jenson… you know you love me… you just need to figure yourself out.”

She shook her head, “I don’t know Riley… I don’t know…”

I kneeled in front of her, “I’m not gonna force anything onto you, I promise… the kiss was just to shut you up in a nice way.”

She laughed, I could see tears forming in her eyes, she was still in pain about everything she had found out tonight. “I’ve never been with a girl Riley… I don’t know… it just, I don’t know anymore… I want Jake, he’s normal, he’s who I am…”

I shook my head, No Jenson, he’s who you’re supposed to be, he’s not who you are… you’re better then him. “Jenson… just stay with me tonight.”

She looked at me, looking more fragile then ever, “Ten minutes ago you were hollering at me to get out.”

I smiled, she was right, “I know but I want you to stay with me tonight.”

She wiped her eyes, “I should be mad at you, and I should want to leave you here alone and call Jake… but I can’t. I want to stay… I don’t want to leave… and it’s confusing Riley.”

I smiled, “You can stay, I don’t mind sleeping on the couch… if you feel uncomfortable, you know.”

“No… just don’t try any funny business…”

I laughed, her expression was so cute, and I was glad she decided to stay.

Maybe telling her almost got us ruined, but I was going to make her realize how much she loved me. No matter what it took…

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