Soulmates: Writing on Skin [Seaycee AU]

Thirty-two

Kaycee was over today, they'd spent most of the day rehearsing their partner piece for BuildaBeast early next month. It wasn't particularly going well, it felt almost as though there was some sort of disconnect. And Sean was fairly certain that disconnect was on his end, though.

Something Sean had learned through the first three months of his relationship with Kaycee was that feelings come on fast. Sometimes faster than he could process and faster than he was comfortable with. That isn't to say that he wasn't happy; because he was. But feelings were overwhelming, which was probably where the disconnect was coming from.

Now they were sitting on Sean's bed, Kaycee evidently engrossed in whatever show she had turned on while Sean sat beside her, pretending to do the same. It bothered him that he was allowing something seemingly so silly to get in his head. Feelings are normal. Loving someone is normal. He just didn't really want to admit that things had completely changed just yet.

He also didn't want to freak Kaycee out. He was so sure that she didn't feel the same way, and she was hesitant when it came to anything with their relationship, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

But if he was being completely honest, though he'd just recently realized that he loved her, he was pretty sure he'd felt that way for awhile. He thought back to Hawaii, when they sat on the beach late at night. The crashing of the waves and Kaycee's presence were the only things that were able to calm his racing mind. That trip was when he realized that there was something special between him and Kaycee, some connection that he didn't seem to have with anyone else.

And then there was Boston. He remembered ignoring Kaycee for the first part of that trip because of his realization in Hawaii. But by ignoring Kaycee, that was when he realized that without her, everything seemed harder. It was almost as if he needed her to do the simplest of tasks.

Then there was Jack. Just Jack in general. The longer Kaycee stayed with him, the more jealous Sean became. When they'd decided to stay together after their huge fight, he felt like he'd lost a battle that he didn't even know he was fighting. Before, he'd thought they were making progress, that maybe he'd be able to figure out why Kaycee made him feel like he was invincible and vulnerable all at once.

And Central Perk. That was when he'd garnered up the courage to ask her about Jack, ask her why she was still with him if he didn't truly make her happy. And after that trip, when they broke up, that's when things really started to change. And in Sean's mind, things were changing only for the better.

After You had brought out the best in their relationship thus far. And the video. The day it came out, Kaycee's initials miraculously appeared on his skin, and suddenly, everything started to make sense. Everything he had been feeling those several months prior all aligned for the first time, and that was only the beginning.

Ever since that day, his feelings were growing for Kaycee everyday, but at the same time, he was building a wall to protect himself. Normally he was okay at expressing what he was feeling, but he was afraid if he did that with Kaycee, especially now, she'd get scared off. Not that she could really go anywhere, she was stuck with him forever. But still.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been staring blankly at the wall in front of him before Kaycee nudged his arm, but he was assuming it was for awhile considering he didn't recognize the episode they were on.

"I didn't know that wall was so interesting." Kaycee teased, her face breaking out in a smile.

He shrugged, "Neither did I, to be honest."

His blunt answer seemed to alert Kaycee that something was wrong. She tilted her head to one side. "What's the matter?" She asked quizzically.

"Nothing." Sean shook his head. "Just zoned out."