To Be Child of God [A Merome Story]

✧Chapter 2✧

I was cradling Mercy in my lap the next morning, feeding her the small bowl of cereal and fruit that everyone got. All of us, all seven hundred of us, ate together in one large dining hall and normally I would have been up before four in the kitchen preparing the breakfast, but today, Monday, was my day off. It gave me an extra two hours to sleep in. Mercy spat some of the food onto her bib, squirming in my arms as I poked her lips with the next spoonful.

"I guess you're done." I said. My mother shot me an incredulous look, which I tactfully ignored. Mercy settled once she realised I wasn't trying to feed her anymore and I turned to my own breakfast, finally managing to get some food into me.

My entire body jolted, which I managed to disguise, as Jerome approached the table from behind Gabriel. He didn't look at me. Gabriel turned and looked at him, frowning.

"Morning Jerome, what are you doing here? Does James want us in early?" James ran the shop in which they both worked, on the outskirts of the community property. Jerome shook his head, still avoiding my eyes.

"Luke's gone." He said, voice wavering. "His brother said he slipped out last night and he's gone. They're going to announce he's been expelled on Wednesday night."

Wednesday night was the next time the whole community gathered for a service, that happened twice a week, but there were optional services every night. You had to go to one of them once a week, minimum. Once it was announced that someone had left the community, their name could no longer be mentioned. They were dead to us. Gabriel dropped his spoon into his bowl.

"What!?" He gaped. "Why! I thought he was fine! He's betrothed!"

"I don't know." Jerome said quietly. "But we'll have to pick up his workload from now until another lot of boys arrive to be trained. James hasn't said anything, but we should probably go."

Gabriel nodded and slid from the bench, my father waving as his permission. As the two left my eyes followed Jerome and before he was hidden by the crowd, I saw his hand twist to hold out a number- 2. Alright. 2 o'clock. At 2 o'clock we would meet in the field again and maybe I would get to answer some questions about what he knew. I had known Luke, vaguely, as he had been a year above me in the tiny community school. We hadn't been able to talk because he was a boy and I wasn't, but he had been one of Gabriel's friends.

I shuddered. He had been the first to leave in a little while. There had always been some, deciding that this life was not the one for them and disappearing in the middle of the night- to eternal damnation, according to our leaders. Those words were repeated a lot. I think it had been a couple of months since the last one had gone, a few older guys in their early twenties, a family of five, and before that, a sixteen-year-old girl called Rachel. I hadn't talked to her much, but I knew she was a little different.

"Charity, walk the little ones to the day-care. I will be taking the older ones to the school. Do you know your duties for today?" My mother said, standing up. My father nodded.

"I am in the kitchen today mother, and then I am on laundry duty after 3pm." I didn't mention that I wasn't supposed to be anywhere from one until then. They expected me to help out in the nursery when I wasn't scheduled, but now I had something else to do. "Mercy, Thomas, come on!"

I walked the two down to the day care, which was on the lower floor of one of the three hostels. The layout of our community was interesting. Most people, including new couples and smaller families with less than five children lived in one or two room apartments in one of the hostels, while larger families such as my own lived in separate houses. Jerome's family must have had their own home, as I knew he was the youngest of... six. I think. Another thing I had to ask him.

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The morning went about as well as I expected it to. We worked through the breakfast dishes and began preparing lunch just as we did every day, while some of the other girls peeled, cored, sliced and preserved a large batch of apples that had just arrived. Lunch came and went and I helped with the dishes again before finally, just before 2 o'clock, I slipped away without being noticed and took the back road out to the field.

Jerome was already waiting for me, face pinched, crouched on the ground with his head in his hands. He was physically shaking. I rushed to his side, pulling up just short, berating myself for almost breaking the rule- again. I couldn't touch him, I shouldn't even be with him. He stood up.

"Luke talked to me before he left." He began, not even letting me get a word in. "He went the same way as the last ones, the group of boys and the family. You remember Rachel? Tall, blonde?" I nodded, flinching. You didn't mention the names of those who had left. "She- he, he, got in contact with Luke and them and helped them leave. He's become sort of the lifeline to get everyone out."

"He?" I said quietly. "I thought you said it was Ra- Rac-... her."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He said, finally looking up and staring right at me. "I don't know much about you're situation and I might completely wrong, but you sound like Rachel. She didn't want to be a wife or a mother either because it felt wrong. So she left. I know it's only been six months since she gone, but she realised pretty quickly what was up. She's a he now, and goes by Lachlan."

It took me a moment to comprehend, because that didn't make sense. She was a he? That wasn't right, you were born in the body god decided for you! God couldn't be wrong.

Could he?

Jerome saw the conflict on my face.

"It's called being transgender. Luke told me about him before he left, how he's transitioning. He's made it his mission to get anyone out who needs to leave but... he's only been able to get the guys out. Married men. Or Luke, but that's because he was trusted. You girls are so controlled that he hasn't been able to contact any of you."

I nodded slowly, but my mind was ticking over something else. Rachel wasn't Rachel anymore, he was Lachlan. Someone could be born a girl, but realise that they weren't a girl and... change? Transition. That was the word Jerome had used.

And as I sat there, I suddenly had this whole new perspective. This whole new world I had never seen before had been opened up, and two things came from it- God could make mistakes, and maybe, just maybe, I wasn't a girl?