Defenceless l.s

One

"Don't fuck this up now," his voice echoed through our narrow hallway and my gaze fell down to my feet "-I know this isn't exactly your strong side but please," he pleaded "- I can't support the both of us." I nodded, I knew this, of course I did, but that didn't make it any easier. He nudged my chin forcing me to meet his eyes and I couldn' help but feel the disappointment fill my chest once again. Of course people change, I knew that too, but why do the good parts have to change? Why can't they just get rid of the bad, cold sides and leave the warm, caring boyfriend to me? I searched his eyes for any kind of familiarity. Sometimes I wondered what I did to lose that last glimpse of happiness that used to light up his soul and sometimes I wonder what on this earth I could do to bring that spark back, but no matter what I did or how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work. I buried my face in his chest, not baring to look into his empty eyes any longer. He sighed as my grip around him tightened. 

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" His voice was soft, smooth like warm honey and oh- how I had missed that. I nodded. Of course I do, he does so much for me and what have I ever done for him? I can't even keep a damn job for long enough for us to move out of this dump. A shiver ran through my body at the thought of the last spider I found, I don't think I've ever seen that long legs on such a tiny creature. It really shouldn't be possible and I think Liam was getting tired of my constant screeching. "I know, I know. I just," I stopped, not wanting to utter those words "-you know I don't like working like that." My words came out much lower this time, I could almost pretend I hadn't said anything. The warmth disappeared from around me as he took a step back. Almost. He huffed, baffled. "I can't believe you're still playing into this." He shook his head. "I told you it's fine," and yeah, I knew what was coming, didn't make it hurt any less though "-I've already forgiven you, stop feeding me your stupid story and stop lying to my face." My hands hid in my pockets as his voice got louder.

"You'll be late for work" I reminded him. He threw a glance at the wooden clock before his gaze landed on me again. He sighed. "You know I just care about you, right?" His fingertips lightly grazed my sleeve. "This is a great opportunity for you, and we can finally get out of here, just like you've always wanted."

"I'm just nervous, s'all."

He rolled his eyes. "You'll be fine, you have a tendency to be a little bit dramatic don't you think?" He chuckled low in his throat. I replicated his smile. "Just don't flaunt around your assets this time, if you know what I mean," he teased. "Or maybe do, you'll definitely get the job with an ass like that," he laughed and slapped my bum. I jumped a little. He laughed before picking up his bag and walking out the door. "Good luck!"

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Ice blue eyes stared back at me as a trembling hand swept through my hair. As much as I wanted to make it stop, I couldn't; not with his words playing like a broken record inside my head. What if he was right? Of course he was right, who am I kidding? He was always right, though I would give anything to pull the plug and throw the damn player out the window if that meant that I could get the voice out of my head even for a second but with the way I've been acting lately, I don't think karma was on my side right now.

I gave myself one last once over in the mirror before grabbing my phone. I put it back in my pocket. Liam would like me to have a quiff. Fringes are juvenile and look childish. I grabbed the gel and did just as Zayn had taught me, though it looked much better on him. I wonder if he still spends as much time on doing his bloody hair. He would constantly get in trouble because he refused to leave the house without every strand shaped into its resignited place and not a single wrinkle were allowed on his shirts. Sometimes I wondered why he didn't prepare it the night before, to keep him from being late on a daily basis, earning us both detentions because of course I would wait for him.

I snapped a picture of myself in the mirror, trying not to frown, and sent it to Liam, waiting for his approval before I finally grabbed my keys and headed for the office. I considered stopping for coffee because I didn't think anyone would appreciate me falling asleep mid interview but decided against it when I realized what time it was. Oh well. I didn't deserve a coffee anyway. Maybe next time I should watch my time better.

By the time I arrived in front of the office building, the wheel was slick with sweat. I wiped them off on the seat and headed in, the glass doors parting as I entered. I shivered. The air was cold, my shoes hitting the tile floor, echoing slightly. I carefully tapped my fingers on the black desk making a woman look up from the screen. She smiled at me. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you walk in. How can I help you?"

I swallowed. "I have an interview with Mr. Styles?" I don't know why it sounded so much like a question, either way she answered. "Right, put this on," she handed me a card to clip on my suit. "Top floor," she pointed at the elevator with a smile. "Good luck, you'll do great!"