Chapter Fifty-Six

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He slightly turned his body towards me before looking me up and down causing me to get a bit self conscious, "That is no longer of your concern" is all he said before shutting the door and walking away

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Realization of what had just occurred caused my words to become caught in my throat as no words could come near to explaining the pure humiliation I felt right at that moment

There was no trust in this so called relationship

All I ever wanted was to love him and heal all of which has been hurt. I begged for a profound love that I've only heard of in stories, yet he just wanted to assert his dominance. I desired to have an equal relationship but all he did was manipulate and gaslight me. It was all make believe because my love was never enough. His greedy hands always felt entitled to all I ever had and then some. 

The signs were always there, a flaming red that was near impossible to miss. Yet, I chose to overlook his lack of positive sentiment. I chose to dismiss his emotionless eyes and cold blood. I chose to throw a blind eye towards his ill temper all because I wanted to be the one to teach him how to love, and I wanted to be the one he loved. And that was my biggest mistake. 

It is not my duty to teach anybody to love. It is not my responsibility to amend someone. And I'm definitely not obliged to educate somebody on simple human hospitality. 

You can not teach anyone something they don't care to learn

What I wish he was and who he truly was are two different beings. One fabricated to hide the other's truth. I was delusional. I misconstrued him. I kept trying to paint him as an angel with broken wings. Wings I thought I could knit back together but his wings weren't white and his feathers weren't pure

My thoughts continued pouring down with seemingly no intention of stopping. 

It was the first time I felt as if I could see clearly. As if I had just put on my prescribed glasses and was able to see the shapes and colors from a centimeter to a mile away and I had no intention of ever going into the smoke again 

I refuse to go back to what continues to inflict pain within me. I can't fathom why I ever let myself back within his selfish heart but I refuse to ever go back to that conception of love. 

With that thought, a new wave of determination hit me as I walked towards the door and out to follow his shadow

I rushed down the stairs, before looking right and left for a familiar face 

He must've went home I thought, before doing one last search and walking towards the direction of my car 

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I parked the car in front of his house before getting out and walking towards his front door

Alright, this is it. This is the end  I thought, taking a deep inhale before ringing the doorbell 

The door opened revealing an annoyed looking Blake as he cynically glared at me before leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed

Before he could utter a sentence, I spoke

"I am done" I voiced looking at him in his eyes, "I don't want to ever see or hear from you again" 

His face remained emotionless as his composure stayed the same 

"I was in denial of who you truly are" I continued, "And now that I know, I want nothing to do with you" I snarled looking at him in pure disgust before turning my back and walking away 

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