PAIN | Jasper Hale [1]

~CHAPTER 15: VAMPIRE BASEBALL~

(edited: 21.01.24)
"DOROTHEA, wake up."

I startled awake, immediately pulling myself up and away from whoever was touching my shoulder lightly. Then with confused but wide eyes, I looked to the side, relaxing as it was Jasper who was at my side.

He looked troubled, his hands raised up as he attempted to look as harmless as possible. I let out a light breath and rubbed my chest, trying to both calm my racing heart and lessen the pain that came from it.

"I apologize... I didn't mean to scare you."

Shaking my head, I responded "You didn't scare me, Jasper. I'm just not used to getting touched in my sleep, nor am I usually woken up by something other than a nightmare or my alarm."

Seeing his hesitation, I reached out with my hand, which he took without much prompting. He sat down at the edge of the bed, still looking troubled as he asked.

"You do know that nothing would ever hurt you here, right?"

I smiled softly, deeply touched by his words, which I did believe. Because what could hurt me in a house in the middle of nowhere, that's filled by vampires?

Aside from said vampires. Not much.

"I know, Jasper. And honestly, I don't remember when I slept as soundly as I did tonight." I said honestly, and as if my body wanted to prove my point, I yawned before continuing "But this goes beyond you. Ever since that night... I'm always expecting something terrible to happen, when I wake up."

We stayed silent for a moment, our hands locked together, until Jasper spoke up and started running his thumb over my knuckles.

"Before... back when I was human. I did the same thing."

I frowned, asking "Because of war?"

Jasper nodded, saying "Yes...but my upbringing wasn't..." he stopped, before looking off into the distance "I hardly remember my human years, but my father... I do remember fearing him. My skin crawled when he was near... I remember thinking of an excuse to leave his presence or about what to do to not anger him. I also... my control, it was weak as a human as well. I was... angry, resentful, I wanted to be feared just like my father was... I was not good." he sighed, looking down "I hate what I was... more than what I am today."

I stared at him, pity gnawing at my stomach. Ever since, Jasper told me who he was... I've had my reservations, but it was so surreal to see him and think that he was from the past. A past that wasn't pretty or honorable...

"Do you regret it?" I asked quietly.

"I don't think that I'll ever stop." he said without hesitation.

"Good. You shouldn't." I responded, before gathering his face in my hands and looking into his black eyes "But that doesn't mean that you haven't changed, Jasper. Or that you can't continue on changing and improving... I mean, look at me. I'm not the same girl I was before Bella arrived, I got better. And I think that over the years, you did as well."